How I wish. How I wish i could just disappear when everything's a mess. Or when I feel like vanishing.. haha, trip! And besides, that's a pretty cool superpower! Don't you think? *poof*

OH MY GOSH WE HAVE LIMEWIRE!! Yes, we do! And right now I'm downloading Episodes 1-4 of Season 3!! I cannot believe it! Now it's really here. My dad brought it home last night. I think he got it from the office. Well, well, I got my wish fast. Does that mean I won't have a Christmas present from Santa? Oh I hope not. Geez, I guess I have to be extra nice this year. But hey, whatever. I HAVE LIMEWIRE!! And this makes me the happiest girl in the whole wide world!

I was watching Project:Runway on ETC this morning (it's a reality show for fashion designers) and this one quote really struck me. One contestant said that his philosophy in life is to follow his bliss. And I guess it just struck me because I expected him to say dream but he didn't. What is the difference anyway? Dreams make you happy, right? All throughout the show I was thinking about what he said. Follow your bliss. I thought, I thought and I thought. And I came to this: dreams are usually just our imaginations of what we want to happen to us. You know, owning a big company, marrying Prince William (haha!) , being the next rock star chick, those kind of stuff. And they're usually in the future. They're yet to happen. But your bliss is here, in the present. It's what makes you happy, what makes your heart skip a beat or your eyes sparkle. It's not just in our heads because it's here, right in front of us making us smile. So maybe that's the difference. And I realized it's not enough to just dream or be blissful. It is important to have both: happiness & contentment in life plus the imagination & determination to dream. For me, these are the ingredients of a happy ending. So I thought of a better philosophy in life: Follow your bliss to make your dreams come true. Now it sounds much better to me. =)

Another reason for me to be happy today is because I suddenly realized that things are going back to normal, somehow. I can't explain how or why, all I know is that I have a very good feeling about what's happening. And I'm just so happy. Thank you, thank you, Bescrush. Wink. ;)

I want to sleep. *yawn*

[EDIT]
I just found at that there is a HUGE possibility that One Tree Hill might be cancelled. Oh my, just typing that breaks my heart. Anyway, this is due to the merging of two networks (which includes WB, OTH's network) and by fall it will have a new line-up of shows. Because of the drop in its ratings, OTH is on the edge of staying or cancellation. There is something we can do though. There is a petition that we can all sign to help convince the executives to let One tree Hill stay. You can also vote for OTH in a poll that shows the results to TVnetwork executives. And as a huge fan, I really, really, really want to ask you guys for help (especially the fans!). Come on, this is MY favorite show EVER and just the thought of losing it saddens me. I mean, not now, not when everything is going great especially between Nathan and Haley!! So please go here and here, sign the petition and vote. If you don't watch OTH, at least do it for me.. please? Pretty please? Help save One Tree Hill.
[/EDIT]


"You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything."
-- Everything by Lifehouse

P.S. Don't push it. I only have one prince charming and his names starts with N. As in he's NATHAN. Nathan Scott. (Haha, funny but true.) So unless you know your name's Nathan, don't. Please. Just don't.

I'll give you five seconds to guess where that line came from and if you get it, well, you're a winner. Haha. Okay, clues:

You'd be a loser if you haven't guessed it. Hehe. Kidding. Obviously, it's from One Tree Hill, and actually it really is driving me crazy. So this is what happens to bored princesses, huh? I've spent almost all day surfing OTH sites and watching OTH dvds and surprisingly, I don't get tired! I've seen the episodes a hundred times during the Christmas break and a thousand times during the weekends but I still feel all kilig inside everytime I watch them. Am I really going nuts?! Oh, please somebody help me. And now I feel worse because Nica is currently watching Episode 9 of Season 3, which by the way is the episode I've been wanting to watch because -- well I don't want to spoil it for everyone else, so let's just say good things will happen in that episode. Now see, I know what will happen even though I haven't seen it yet since I've been "researching" about it for weeks already but there's still this something inside me that NEEDS to watch the episode. SHEESH. Am I even making any sense?! I am so confused right now. And though it's not about some emotional or teenage-angst sort of thing, it's still as complicated. Man. I need Limewire. I want Limewire. That's my portal to Season 3. Santa, can you give me my gift as early as now? =)

Okay so before I go completely berserk I will try to stop for awhile. Change topic.

What is happening to our country? PGMA suddenly declares state of emergency (Proclamation No. 1017). This is BIG NEWS. And honestly I don't know what to say about it except, "Whoa." I'm watching the news patrol and it seems like history is repeating itself. Rallyists are being arrested, people are running around Edsa Santolan and I'm just so shocked that this is happening NOW. I mean, with the exchange rate and good events (Pacquiao and Villoria victory), I thought everything was going to be okay. Deep inside me, there's this really small ray of hope that things are going to get better for us Filipinos -- then this happens. What is wrong with us? It saddens me that peace and unity seems lightyears away from our nation. And I'm mad because I feel so helpless. As a student, all I can do for my country is just believe that it will redeem itself in the future. But with all these happening, do you honestly think there's still something to believe in? I can't stand watching this anymore, but I have to because this is history. Our history. Sigh. Let's just all pray for peace and enlightenment.

As I'm typing this, I'm wearing my crown. "So what?" I hear you say. These past few days weeks, I've not been much of a princess lately. I've let some people down and I hate to think that my resolution of being a good-and-lovable-princess-slash-Haley-tutor-girl in real life is falling apart. But I had to be strong. And by strong I don't mean fighting back or playing dirty. It's by being humble and apologizing for your mistakes. It's admitting what you did wrong and trying to not do them again. So yes, I was able to say sorry to the people I've hurt. And now I'm produ to say that I deserve to wear my crown again. Welcome back, Princess Haley.

AWW.
What the world needs now,
love, sweet love.

"No, no it's not ok. I'm not ok... When I fell to the floor tonight, I was so scared. I was so terrified. Then I saw you.. I promised myself that if I could just get up, and walk over to you, and tell you how much I need you, how much I want you, then nothing else matters."
-- Nathan to Haley in "With Arms Outstretched"

Because of the mercury incident, we have no classes today and tomorrow. It's a blessing in disguise actually because now we have the time to start with our projects! Whoopee! Documentary and scale model, here I come.

I just came from Nica's place to talk about our Geom project, and well, ended up watching One Tree Hill again. Don't get me wrong, we were able to talk about making a scale model of a cruise ship, so basically it wasn't really a waste. Anyway, we watched episode two and I must say I regret it. Not because I hated it but because I loved it SO much, it breaks my heart that I can't watch the next one anytime soon. Darn. I just HAVE to have Limewire. So now, I can't help but feel sad that Nica can watch whatever episode she likes whenever she wants, while I have to WAIT for Season 3 to start on ETC. And when will that be?! This is just too much suffering for me. :(

Random stuff.

I have to go because we'll be making our documentary for Research about jeepneys. We'll be videotaping jeeps and interviewing drivers & passengers! Cool, right? Ours is due next, next week pa pero we decided to do it today so that we'll have enough time editing and adding special effects. Be back later. :)

Much love. Mwah, mwah.

"I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back"
-- Only Hope by Switchfoot

As I drink the last drop from last night's leftover Mocha Valencia, I once again feel heavenly. It's great to know that whatever happens there will always be a cup of Mocha Valencia to make me feel better. Oh sheer joy!

We have no classes today so I used my time in front of the computer making my first-ever professional (haha!) project as a webdesigner. I was asked by our campaign manager, Sir Santos, to make our party's official website. (Somehow typing that made me feel so important) Anyway, it's super simple and still under construction since all the platforms and plans are yet to be filled but hopefully, they'll like it. After all they requested for a simple one, and yes, simplicity is my virtue. So there. I'll give you guys the address later.

These past few days I've been drowning myself into the beauty of the music from the CD I asked Nica to burn for me. It contains all of my current favorite songs, from One Tree Hill tracks to signature senti songs to OPM (Nobela!!). And I'm loving it, really. It just makes me feel -- stable. I guess that CD is the soundtrack of my life because basically every good song that I love is there. Lucky me. I needed something to keep me sane and there comes that CD. I actually thought Nica already forgot about it but just this week she gave it to me, and who knew listening to it would actually make me feel connected? It calms me down, soothes my senses. Haha. Okay so that sounds sappy. Now it's great to know that whatever happens there will always be a cup of Mocha Valencia AND a soundtrack of my life CD to make me feel better. Wink, wink.

I just finished reading the book Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan and I must say it's Good with a capital G. It's a story about a gay high school boy named Paul who falls in love with a new guy named Noah. The story is just like any other teen romance novels only it's between two boys. For some, that would be crazy but actually for me it's really good. It opens your eyes to the reality that this world is changing, boys really do fall for boys and girls fall for girls as well. Basically, it's a simple story about love, friendship, family with a conventional little twist. It's not really bakla as in make-up and fashion, but just well, homosexual. You just have to be a little open-minded for you to appreciate the book well. I say read this if you: a.) can't watch Brokeback Mountain, b.) can't get enough of Brokeback Mountain, c.) are a fan of Will & Grace and Queer Eye or d.) just want to read something that will warm your heart. My rating? Four out of five.

I want Season 3 of One Tree Hill! Man, I cannot wait any longer. I cannot stand the fact that someone *ehem* is downloading it through Limewire and can watch the episodes with America while I can do nothing but WAIT. Simplicity may be a virtue but patience is not. Aaaah! I want -- no, no, I NEED to know what will happen to Nathan and Haley! This really is driving me crazy. I think now I understand completely what our Health teacher is talking about back when we were discussing drugs. You get addicted, and when it's taken away from you, you look for it, your body searches for it -- it's called WITHDRAWAL. People, you just witnessed the birth of a new syndrome: the OTH-withdrawal Syndrome.

I just love that picture (look up). I took that yesterday just before leaving for dinner. (We ate at the Jumbo Floating Kingdom, by the way) And once again, vanity takes over. Stop me before I become too conceited.

Oh I almost forgot that there's still school tomorrow. Well, I have to go.
Ciao, mi amigas.

"Oh honey I just can't get around it anymore
You make me feel like home is where you are
Baby I just can't run around it every morn'n
It's time that I believe it, home is where you are"
-- Songs in My Pocket by Bethany Joy Lenz

Today was the Medical-Dental check up for the CES communities and also the intraschool elimination of the Debate. Actually, I expected today to be boring but it actually turned out quite okay. I guess when you never expect things to happen, they do.

I got to talk with Sr. Cyril, one of my mom's former teachers in St. Paul Manila. I introduced myself and surprisingly, she still knows mom and also my tita. I also got to chat (and bond!) with my English teacher, Sir Catanghal. Honestly, I never thought we had so many things in common since he really looks so professional and all that. But I found out that he is an avid comics fan, he watches Fairly Odd Parents and Friends. Hehe. Everyone who helped for today's Free Medical-Dental checkup was able to bond with the teachers, and it was really, really fun singing & laughing with them as if they were just our titas and lolas. Hmm, there really is something more beneath those terror looks and voices. :)

I really didn't look forward to the debate since this is just actually my second formal debate and first time as a speaker. I was really, really nervous and so was Trixie and Hope. I was the first speaker (prime minister) and it was so overwhelming since everybody expects you to define terms well and consume the whole five minutes. It was soooo nerve-wracking. But guess what? I won Best Speaker! Twice! Yipee. I was so happy because it was my first time to be declared one and I really didn't expect it, what with all the stuttering and all. Our team won twice which means we'll be competing for the interschool competition. It's such an honor! Anyway, I'm really glad how everything turned out because now I know that joining the Debate Society paid off. Whew! Congrats also to Trixie (who won Best debater), Hope (enemy!) and our worthy opponents Cars, Nikki & Cecile, and Jaydee, Justin & Sofia.

I've been thinking about One Tree Hill day and night. You know how they say that you should be careful about wishing for something because it might come true? Well I wished to be Haley and now it's as if the series is unfolding right before my very eyes. Yeah, this is not an illusion! I AM becoming Haley (well except for the singing career and the Chris part). Batman, Nathan, Luke and all. My, my this is quite a surprise! Someone lost their trust, someone got disappointed, and someone just wants everything to go back to the way they were. It's funny in a sad sort of way actually. I don't know if I should be glad that life is one big Tree Hill for me or if I should feel crappy because now everything is so dramatic and soap opera-ish. But anyway, I hope one day I'll know "how a resurrection really feels," and I'll get Nathan back in no time. *wink*

Is there such a thing?
Remember how lucky I felt on Friday the 13th? Well I suppose, the gods and goddesses of destiny really wouldn't let me get away with it. And they have to do it on the day after V-day. Is this how post-Valentine's should be like?

I have been experiencing hyperacidity since yesterday and up to now, the pain is still half-killing me. The medicines given to me were effective for a while but the pain comes back eventually, after a few hours or so. Sometimes it's bearable, sometimes it's not. And then an unexpected "visitor" came by today and doubled my body pain. Argh. This is so not good.

Anyway, you probably noticed the new layout. Blah. Too tired to explain. Basta, temporary lang to. Well, at least as long as the crappy feeling doesn't go away then this will stay. Haha.

I always tell myself that everyday is like a page in the book of life, as days go by you get nearer to the happy ending. Ironically, the opposite is happening to me. As each day comes to an end, I feel like I'm being pulled further and further away from that rainbow-colored ending. And now all I can see are dark clouds and rain. Happy ending nowhere in sight. Haaay. I feel so guilty of something I don't know today. Apparently, there was something I didn't say to someone that made her feel bad. I don't know what it is, but from the looks of it, it's kind of HUGE. And now I really don't know WHAT to feel anymore. You know? Someone gets mad at me for saying something, and now even not telling something leads to a problem. Okay, so I'm not saying that wala na akong kasalanan (though I really don't know what I did wrong). I just really really feel like a HUGE piece of crap. I'm like this huge, gigantic and big piece of walking CRAP. And I hate this feeling. People who know me can attest to the fact that I really hate disappointing people who mean a lot to me. But most of the time I really do -- unpurposely. And I can't help it that sometimes I really say mean words or I forget to do some things. In the end, I hate the feeling of making someone feel bad because of something you did na unconsciously, hurt someone pala. All I ever wanted was for things to be happy but it turns out, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe you're expecting a crying Karla, but no surprisingly I'm not crying. No tears are coming out of my eyes probably because I feel numb, or my eyes are all dried out already. Whatever. I don't know what I did, what I said, what I DIDN'T do or DIDN'T say. All I really want is for things to go back to the way they are, back to when there were no mountains in between, back when no one else cared, back when there were no others, back when things weren't so complicated, back when nothing else mattered. I just want things to be okay. And though I know it's not going to be anytime soon, I hope you know that I really do want us to be okay again.

I'm sorry. I don't know why but I just want to say sorry because I know I owe you one. And I don't know how hurt you are or how painful it is but I want you to know that the last thing I want to do is make you feel bad. And I probably did it because I didn't want to cause any more troubles.

Then again, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED so how am I supposed to know if this apology is appropriate?! Darn. Why, oh, why do they have to leave me out of this when in fact I'M the one concerned? Sheesh.

Okay, Karla, crappy time over.
Time to make reco letters.
(finally, Reco na rin namin!)


(got the pic from Kukote)
a pic of my heart, everyone.
belated happy chuba day nga pala.

ouch. tummy still hurting. :'(

to Bocaue, Bulacan.
Haha.

The Science Congress was F-U-N! It was basically a 3-part cycle: eat, sleep, take a bath. Haha. Seriously, we weren't able to join most of the activities because we weren't informed. But heck, we got to socialize and bond with our schoolmates as well as friends from the other schools. Everything was fun, from the sleeping time, to eating time to chikahan, to picture moments. Not a dull moment. SPCPq didn't get a place but we're still proud of all our winners! :) Anyway, I'm too lazy to make kwento so I guess I'll just post the pics later on.

The most dreadful part of this whole congress thing is coming back to school. Sheesh. All those reports due, missed lessons.. Ack! It's enough to make anyone crazy. And it's our long tests next week so you can bet serious catching up from all the "congresswomen" (people who joined the congress). Now I'm back to my usual exhausted mode. Haay, expect loads of crumminess and crankiness from all the students. haha! :p

Okay so maybe not really. Valentine's day is just around the corner and I'm sure there are some lucky ones who have their significant others to share that day with. *ehem* Of course, for the rest of us we've got a date with our reviewers, pens and the dreaded test papers since our Long Tests fall on the 13th and 14th. Wow. Expect the school admin to do these kind of stuff. This means I'll be staying home for the weekend and I'll do nothing but put my mind on protozoans, arch addition postulates and the whatnot.

Let us all pray for the victims of the tragedy in Ultra last Saturday. We were still in Bulacan when we received the news and I just felt soooo bad when I saw it on TV that night. It was so depressing that these days the only hope for most of the Filipinos is a chance at a noontime show. Please don't forget them in your prayers, okay?

What day is it today people?
Haaayayayayay. It's the 6th.

My mom just said I should not blog just in the middle of this post. So I guess I really should stop typing and finish my Health and Soc Sci report. Here are the pics, by the way:

and I find myself coming back..

The Intramurals last week was one HUGE ferris wheel ride. If you just know how many times I felt up and down, wow. I felt so dizzy (literally and emotionally) but all in all it was fun. Not as great as last year though. But I can pretty much say the concert was good. The Haler in me suddenly resurrected and for that one night I fell in love with Champ again. Honestly, I was wrong when I said they would be boring -- they rocked the gym! Anyway, the cheering and field demo was fun. We came in third, but so what? Congrats to the Orange team by the way, and to ALL the teams. It was fun knowing that whether you win or lose, we're all friends. :)

Sorry if I'm too tamad to explain every little detail. Don't worry though, I didn't get any injuries, not on my elbows and not on any part of my body, thankyouverymuch.

Do you know what day tomorrow is? WEDNESDAY and I'm LEEEEEEEAVING!!!! Woohoo! It's the start of the Science Congress and you bet I'm excited. I can't wait to get my ass out of school even for just a couple of days. My, my, my. This is fun! We'd be staying in St. Paul Bocaue until Saturday, and ooh I just can't wait! Haha. Well of course I'll miss my mom and dad. But it's about time we all have this little break from the usual classroom thing and explore and *ehem* learn in a more enjoyable way. Haha. :) Don't forget your iPods guys! Hehe

Just before going home, Nica, Mikka, Hope, Cars and I started reminiscing about our previous years. We missed St. Ann, Oour Lady of Peñafrancia and Our Lady of the Rosary SOOO MUCH. These were our sections (Year I, Grade 5 and Grade 4 respectively) together and were probably our best years because we were all classmates then. It was fun standing in the middle of the campus, talking about petty fights, snobs, crushes and barkada histories. I cannot believe how serious we took everything in back then when in fact it's nothing to us now. Like fighting because my friends got jealous when I asked another classmate to go with me to the clinic! Or playing witches and wizards in the middle of the Harry Potter craze. Haha. Everything started there I guess. My closest friends then are still my closest friends now. And though we have grown different, we grew together and our differences sort of binds us together. I feel so lucky because most of my classmates have drifted apart from their elementary chums, but mine are still the same crazy people I used to hang out with! :) Hehe. It's so nice to walk down memory lane these days, when everyone feels so pressured and confused. Remembering things like that makes me wonder, "What would happen years from now? Would a day just like this happen again, when we'd laugh at trigonometric functions and stupid recess games?" I guess I'll only know until more time flies and more life becomes history. Someday, it will come.. =]

I'm listening to this one song by Parokya ni Edgar. Some say the title is "Your Song" while some say "My One and Only You" I'm confused! Haha. But I do hope you've heard of this song. I'm currently loving it because it explains how I feel right now, about holding on to some things. I suddenly remembered this line from Vince's Life (the Summit book from Seventeen), when Vivian disagreed that when you love someone, you should free her. "If you love someone, you hold on with both hands and you don't let go. Not ever." But still when it's for the better.. it's not so bad. After all, no one ever said that when you let go you completely forget.

"Nobela" is still running inside my head though. Aaaaaaahh.

How I wish. How I wish i could just disappear when everything's a mess. Or when I feel like vanishing.. haha, trip! And besides, that's a pretty cool superpower! Don't you think? *poof*

OH MY GOSH WE HAVE LIMEWIRE!! Yes, we do! And right now I'm downloading Episodes 1-4 of Season 3!! I cannot believe it! Now it's really here. My dad brought it home last night. I think he got it from the office. Well, well, I got my wish fast. Does that mean I won't have a Christmas present from Santa? Oh I hope not. Geez, I guess I have to be extra nice this year. But hey, whatever. I HAVE LIMEWIRE!! And this makes me the happiest girl in the whole wide world!

I was watching Project:Runway on ETC this morning (it's a reality show for fashion designers) and this one quote really struck me. One contestant said that his philosophy in life is to follow his bliss. And I guess it just struck me because I expected him to say dream but he didn't. What is the difference anyway? Dreams make you happy, right? All throughout the show I was thinking about what he said. Follow your bliss. I thought, I thought and I thought. And I came to this: dreams are usually just our imaginations of what we want to happen to us. You know, owning a big company, marrying Prince William (haha!) , being the next rock star chick, those kind of stuff. And they're usually in the future. They're yet to happen. But your bliss is here, in the present. It's what makes you happy, what makes your heart skip a beat or your eyes sparkle. It's not just in our heads because it's here, right in front of us making us smile. So maybe that's the difference. And I realized it's not enough to just dream or be blissful. It is important to have both: happiness & contentment in life plus the imagination & determination to dream. For me, these are the ingredients of a happy ending. So I thought of a better philosophy in life: Follow your bliss to make your dreams come true. Now it sounds much better to me. =)

Another reason for me to be happy today is because I suddenly realized that things are going back to normal, somehow. I can't explain how or why, all I know is that I have a very good feeling about what's happening. And I'm just so happy. Thank you, thank you, Bescrush. Wink. ;)

I want to sleep. *yawn*

[EDIT]
I just found at that there is a HUGE possibility that One Tree Hill might be cancelled. Oh my, just typing that breaks my heart. Anyway, this is due to the merging of two networks (which includes WB, OTH's network) and by fall it will have a new line-up of shows. Because of the drop in its ratings, OTH is on the edge of staying or cancellation. There is something we can do though. There is a petition that we can all sign to help convince the executives to let One tree Hill stay. You can also vote for OTH in a poll that shows the results to TVnetwork executives. And as a huge fan, I really, really, really want to ask you guys for help (especially the fans!). Come on, this is MY favorite show EVER and just the thought of losing it saddens me. I mean, not now, not when everything is going great especially between Nathan and Haley!! So please go here and here, sign the petition and vote. If you don't watch OTH, at least do it for me.. please? Pretty please? Help save One Tree Hill.
[/EDIT]


"You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything."
-- Everything by Lifehouse

P.S. Don't push it. I only have one prince charming and his names starts with N. As in he's NATHAN. Nathan Scott. (Haha, funny but true.) So unless you know your name's Nathan, don't. Please. Just don't.

I'll give you five seconds to guess where that line came from and if you get it, well, you're a winner. Haha. Okay, clues:

You'd be a loser if you haven't guessed it. Hehe. Kidding. Obviously, it's from One Tree Hill, and actually it really is driving me crazy. So this is what happens to bored princesses, huh? I've spent almost all day surfing OTH sites and watching OTH dvds and surprisingly, I don't get tired! I've seen the episodes a hundred times during the Christmas break and a thousand times during the weekends but I still feel all kilig inside everytime I watch them. Am I really going nuts?! Oh, please somebody help me. And now I feel worse because Nica is currently watching Episode 9 of Season 3, which by the way is the episode I've been wanting to watch because -- well I don't want to spoil it for everyone else, so let's just say good things will happen in that episode. Now see, I know what will happen even though I haven't seen it yet since I've been "researching" about it for weeks already but there's still this something inside me that NEEDS to watch the episode. SHEESH. Am I even making any sense?! I am so confused right now. And though it's not about some emotional or teenage-angst sort of thing, it's still as complicated. Man. I need Limewire. I want Limewire. That's my portal to Season 3. Santa, can you give me my gift as early as now? =)

Okay so before I go completely berserk I will try to stop for awhile. Change topic.

What is happening to our country? PGMA suddenly declares state of emergency (Proclamation No. 1017). This is BIG NEWS. And honestly I don't know what to say about it except, "Whoa." I'm watching the news patrol and it seems like history is repeating itself. Rallyists are being arrested, people are running around Edsa Santolan and I'm just so shocked that this is happening NOW. I mean, with the exchange rate and good events (Pacquiao and Villoria victory), I thought everything was going to be okay. Deep inside me, there's this really small ray of hope that things are going to get better for us Filipinos -- then this happens. What is wrong with us? It saddens me that peace and unity seems lightyears away from our nation. And I'm mad because I feel so helpless. As a student, all I can do for my country is just believe that it will redeem itself in the future. But with all these happening, do you honestly think there's still something to believe in? I can't stand watching this anymore, but I have to because this is history. Our history. Sigh. Let's just all pray for peace and enlightenment.

As I'm typing this, I'm wearing my crown. "So what?" I hear you say. These past few days weeks, I've not been much of a princess lately. I've let some people down and I hate to think that my resolution of being a good-and-lovable-princess-slash-Haley-tutor-girl in real life is falling apart. But I had to be strong. And by strong I don't mean fighting back or playing dirty. It's by being humble and apologizing for your mistakes. It's admitting what you did wrong and trying to not do them again. So yes, I was able to say sorry to the people I've hurt. And now I'm produ to say that I deserve to wear my crown again. Welcome back, Princess Haley.

AWW.
What the world needs now,
love, sweet love.

"No, no it's not ok. I'm not ok... When I fell to the floor tonight, I was so scared. I was so terrified. Then I saw you.. I promised myself that if I could just get up, and walk over to you, and tell you how much I need you, how much I want you, then nothing else matters."
-- Nathan to Haley in "With Arms Outstretched"

Because of the mercury incident, we have no classes today and tomorrow. It's a blessing in disguise actually because now we have the time to start with our projects! Whoopee! Documentary and scale model, here I come.

I just came from Nica's place to talk about our Geom project, and well, ended up watching One Tree Hill again. Don't get me wrong, we were able to talk about making a scale model of a cruise ship, so basically it wasn't really a waste. Anyway, we watched episode two and I must say I regret it. Not because I hated it but because I loved it SO much, it breaks my heart that I can't watch the next one anytime soon. Darn. I just HAVE to have Limewire. So now, I can't help but feel sad that Nica can watch whatever episode she likes whenever she wants, while I have to WAIT for Season 3 to start on ETC. And when will that be?! This is just too much suffering for me. :(

Random stuff.

I have to go because we'll be making our documentary for Research about jeepneys. We'll be videotaping jeeps and interviewing drivers & passengers! Cool, right? Ours is due next, next week pa pero we decided to do it today so that we'll have enough time editing and adding special effects. Be back later. :)

Much love. Mwah, mwah.

"I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back"
-- Only Hope by Switchfoot

As I drink the last drop from last night's leftover Mocha Valencia, I once again feel heavenly. It's great to know that whatever happens there will always be a cup of Mocha Valencia to make me feel better. Oh sheer joy!

We have no classes today so I used my time in front of the computer making my first-ever professional (haha!) project as a webdesigner. I was asked by our campaign manager, Sir Santos, to make our party's official website. (Somehow typing that made me feel so important) Anyway, it's super simple and still under construction since all the platforms and plans are yet to be filled but hopefully, they'll like it. After all they requested for a simple one, and yes, simplicity is my virtue. So there. I'll give you guys the address later.

These past few days I've been drowning myself into the beauty of the music from the CD I asked Nica to burn for me. It contains all of my current favorite songs, from One Tree Hill tracks to signature senti songs to OPM (Nobela!!). And I'm loving it, really. It just makes me feel -- stable. I guess that CD is the soundtrack of my life because basically every good song that I love is there. Lucky me. I needed something to keep me sane and there comes that CD. I actually thought Nica already forgot about it but just this week she gave it to me, and who knew listening to it would actually make me feel connected? It calms me down, soothes my senses. Haha. Okay so that sounds sappy. Now it's great to know that whatever happens there will always be a cup of Mocha Valencia AND a soundtrack of my life CD to make me feel better. Wink, wink.

I just finished reading the book Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan and I must say it's Good with a capital G. It's a story about a gay high school boy named Paul who falls in love with a new guy named Noah. The story is just like any other teen romance novels only it's between two boys. For some, that would be crazy but actually for me it's really good. It opens your eyes to the reality that this world is changing, boys really do fall for boys and girls fall for girls as well. Basically, it's a simple story about love, friendship, family with a conventional little twist. It's not really bakla as in make-up and fashion, but just well, homosexual. You just have to be a little open-minded for you to appreciate the book well. I say read this if you: a.) can't watch Brokeback Mountain, b.) can't get enough of Brokeback Mountain, c.) are a fan of Will & Grace and Queer Eye or d.) just want to read something that will warm your heart. My rating? Four out of five.

I want Season 3 of One Tree Hill! Man, I cannot wait any longer. I cannot stand the fact that someone *ehem* is downloading it through Limewire and can watch the episodes with America while I can do nothing but WAIT. Simplicity may be a virtue but patience is not. Aaaah! I want -- no, no, I NEED to know what will happen to Nathan and Haley! This really is driving me crazy. I think now I understand completely what our Health teacher is talking about back when we were discussing drugs. You get addicted, and when it's taken away from you, you look for it, your body searches for it -- it's called WITHDRAWAL. People, you just witnessed the birth of a new syndrome: the OTH-withdrawal Syndrome.

I just love that picture (look up). I took that yesterday just before leaving for dinner. (We ate at the Jumbo Floating Kingdom, by the way) And once again, vanity takes over. Stop me before I become too conceited.

Oh I almost forgot that there's still school tomorrow. Well, I have to go.
Ciao, mi amigas.

"Oh honey I just can't get around it anymore
You make me feel like home is where you are
Baby I just can't run around it every morn'n
It's time that I believe it, home is where you are"
-- Songs in My Pocket by Bethany Joy Lenz

Today was the Medical-Dental check up for the CES communities and also the intraschool elimination of the Debate. Actually, I expected today to be boring but it actually turned out quite okay. I guess when you never expect things to happen, they do.

I got to talk with Sr. Cyril, one of my mom's former teachers in St. Paul Manila. I introduced myself and surprisingly, she still knows mom and also my tita. I also got to chat (and bond!) with my English teacher, Sir Catanghal. Honestly, I never thought we had so many things in common since he really looks so professional and all that. But I found out that he is an avid comics fan, he watches Fairly Odd Parents and Friends. Hehe. Everyone who helped for today's Free Medical-Dental checkup was able to bond with the teachers, and it was really, really fun singing & laughing with them as if they were just our titas and lolas. Hmm, there really is something more beneath those terror looks and voices. :)

I really didn't look forward to the debate since this is just actually my second formal debate and first time as a speaker. I was really, really nervous and so was Trixie and Hope. I was the first speaker (prime minister) and it was so overwhelming since everybody expects you to define terms well and consume the whole five minutes. It was soooo nerve-wracking. But guess what? I won Best Speaker! Twice! Yipee. I was so happy because it was my first time to be declared one and I really didn't expect it, what with all the stuttering and all. Our team won twice which means we'll be competing for the interschool competition. It's such an honor! Anyway, I'm really glad how everything turned out because now I know that joining the Debate Society paid off. Whew! Congrats also to Trixie (who won Best debater), Hope (enemy!) and our worthy opponents Cars, Nikki & Cecile, and Jaydee, Justin & Sofia.

I've been thinking about One Tree Hill day and night. You know how they say that you should be careful about wishing for something because it might come true? Well I wished to be Haley and now it's as if the series is unfolding right before my very eyes. Yeah, this is not an illusion! I AM becoming Haley (well except for the singing career and the Chris part). Batman, Nathan, Luke and all. My, my this is quite a surprise! Someone lost their trust, someone got disappointed, and someone just wants everything to go back to the way they were. It's funny in a sad sort of way actually. I don't know if I should be glad that life is one big Tree Hill for me or if I should feel crappy because now everything is so dramatic and soap opera-ish. But anyway, I hope one day I'll know "how a resurrection really feels," and I'll get Nathan back in no time. *wink*

Is there such a thing?
Remember how lucky I felt on Friday the 13th? Well I suppose, the gods and goddesses of destiny really wouldn't let me get away with it. And they have to do it on the day after V-day. Is this how post-Valentine's should be like?

I have been experiencing hyperacidity since yesterday and up to now, the pain is still half-killing me. The medicines given to me were effective for a while but the pain comes back eventually, after a few hours or so. Sometimes it's bearable, sometimes it's not. And then an unexpected "visitor" came by today and doubled my body pain. Argh. This is so not good.

Anyway, you probably noticed the new layout. Blah. Too tired to explain. Basta, temporary lang to. Well, at least as long as the crappy feeling doesn't go away then this will stay. Haha.

I always tell myself that everyday is like a page in the book of life, as days go by you get nearer to the happy ending. Ironically, the opposite is happening to me. As each day comes to an end, I feel like I'm being pulled further and further away from that rainbow-colored ending. And now all I can see are dark clouds and rain. Happy ending nowhere in sight. Haaay. I feel so guilty of something I don't know today. Apparently, there was something I didn't say to someone that made her feel bad. I don't know what it is, but from the looks of it, it's kind of HUGE. And now I really don't know WHAT to feel anymore. You know? Someone gets mad at me for saying something, and now even not telling something leads to a problem. Okay, so I'm not saying that wala na akong kasalanan (though I really don't know what I did wrong). I just really really feel like a HUGE piece of crap. I'm like this huge, gigantic and big piece of walking CRAP. And I hate this feeling. People who know me can attest to the fact that I really hate disappointing people who mean a lot to me. But most of the time I really do -- unpurposely. And I can't help it that sometimes I really say mean words or I forget to do some things. In the end, I hate the feeling of making someone feel bad because of something you did na unconsciously, hurt someone pala. All I ever wanted was for things to be happy but it turns out, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Maybe you're expecting a crying Karla, but no surprisingly I'm not crying. No tears are coming out of my eyes probably because I feel numb, or my eyes are all dried out already. Whatever. I don't know what I did, what I said, what I DIDN'T do or DIDN'T say. All I really want is for things to go back to the way they are, back to when there were no mountains in between, back when no one else cared, back when there were no others, back when things weren't so complicated, back when nothing else mattered. I just want things to be okay. And though I know it's not going to be anytime soon, I hope you know that I really do want us to be okay again.

I'm sorry. I don't know why but I just want to say sorry because I know I owe you one. And I don't know how hurt you are or how painful it is but I want you to know that the last thing I want to do is make you feel bad. And I probably did it because I didn't want to cause any more troubles.

Then again, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED so how am I supposed to know if this apology is appropriate?! Darn. Why, oh, why do they have to leave me out of this when in fact I'M the one concerned? Sheesh.

Okay, Karla, crappy time over.
Time to make reco letters.
(finally, Reco na rin namin!)


(got the pic from Kukote)
a pic of my heart, everyone.
belated happy chuba day nga pala.

ouch. tummy still hurting. :'(

to Bocaue, Bulacan.
Haha.

The Science Congress was F-U-N! It was basically a 3-part cycle: eat, sleep, take a bath. Haha. Seriously, we weren't able to join most of the activities because we weren't informed. But heck, we got to socialize and bond with our schoolmates as well as friends from the other schools. Everything was fun, from the sleeping time, to eating time to chikahan, to picture moments. Not a dull moment. SPCPq didn't get a place but we're still proud of all our winners! :) Anyway, I'm too lazy to make kwento so I guess I'll just post the pics later on.

The most dreadful part of this whole congress thing is coming back to school. Sheesh. All those reports due, missed lessons.. Ack! It's enough to make anyone crazy. And it's our long tests next week so you can bet serious catching up from all the "congresswomen" (people who joined the congress). Now I'm back to my usual exhausted mode. Haay, expect loads of crumminess and crankiness from all the students. haha! :p

Okay so maybe not really. Valentine's day is just around the corner and I'm sure there are some lucky ones who have their significant others to share that day with. *ehem* Of course, for the rest of us we've got a date with our reviewers, pens and the dreaded test papers since our Long Tests fall on the 13th and 14th. Wow. Expect the school admin to do these kind of stuff. This means I'll be staying home for the weekend and I'll do nothing but put my mind on protozoans, arch addition postulates and the whatnot.

Let us all pray for the victims of the tragedy in Ultra last Saturday. We were still in Bulacan when we received the news and I just felt soooo bad when I saw it on TV that night. It was so depressing that these days the only hope for most of the Filipinos is a chance at a noontime show. Please don't forget them in your prayers, okay?

What day is it today people?
Haaayayayayay. It's the 6th.

My mom just said I should not blog just in the middle of this post. So I guess I really should stop typing and finish my Health and Soc Sci report. Here are the pics, by the way:

and I find myself coming back..

The Intramurals last week was one HUGE ferris wheel ride. If you just know how many times I felt up and down, wow. I felt so dizzy (literally and emotionally) but all in all it was fun. Not as great as last year though. But I can pretty much say the concert was good. The Haler in me suddenly resurrected and for that one night I fell in love with Champ again. Honestly, I was wrong when I said they would be boring -- they rocked the gym! Anyway, the cheering and field demo was fun. We came in third, but so what? Congrats to the Orange team by the way, and to ALL the teams. It was fun knowing that whether you win or lose, we're all friends. :)

Sorry if I'm too tamad to explain every little detail. Don't worry though, I didn't get any injuries, not on my elbows and not on any part of my body, thankyouverymuch.

Do you know what day tomorrow is? WEDNESDAY and I'm LEEEEEEEAVING!!!! Woohoo! It's the start of the Science Congress and you bet I'm excited. I can't wait to get my ass out of school even for just a couple of days. My, my, my. This is fun! We'd be staying in St. Paul Bocaue until Saturday, and ooh I just can't wait! Haha. Well of course I'll miss my mom and dad. But it's about time we all have this little break from the usual classroom thing and explore and *ehem* learn in a more enjoyable way. Haha. :) Don't forget your iPods guys! Hehe

Just before going home, Nica, Mikka, Hope, Cars and I started reminiscing about our previous years. We missed St. Ann, Oour Lady of Peñafrancia and Our Lady of the Rosary SOOO MUCH. These were our sections (Year I, Grade 5 and Grade 4 respectively) together and were probably our best years because we were all classmates then. It was fun standing in the middle of the campus, talking about petty fights, snobs, crushes and barkada histories. I cannot believe how serious we took everything in back then when in fact it's nothing to us now. Like fighting because my friends got jealous when I asked another classmate to go with me to the clinic! Or playing witches and wizards in the middle of the Harry Potter craze. Haha. Everything started there I guess. My closest friends then are still my closest friends now. And though we have grown different, we grew together and our differences sort of binds us together. I feel so lucky because most of my classmates have drifted apart from their elementary chums, but mine are still the same crazy people I used to hang out with! :) Hehe. It's so nice to walk down memory lane these days, when everyone feels so pressured and confused. Remembering things like that makes me wonder, "What would happen years from now? Would a day just like this happen again, when we'd laugh at trigonometric functions and stupid recess games?" I guess I'll only know until more time flies and more life becomes history. Someday, it will come.. =]

I'm listening to this one song by Parokya ni Edgar. Some say the title is "Your Song" while some say "My One and Only You" I'm confused! Haha. But I do hope you've heard of this song. I'm currently loving it because it explains how I feel right now, about holding on to some things. I suddenly remembered this line from Vince's Life (the Summit book from Seventeen), when Vivian disagreed that when you love someone, you should free her. "If you love someone, you hold on with both hands and you don't let go. Not ever." But still when it's for the better.. it's not so bad. After all, no one ever said that when you let go you completely forget.

"Nobela" is still running inside my head though. Aaaaaaahh.