No. This is not me not getting over Valentine's. This is me in Socio10 mode. We're discussing the Sociology of Loooove tomorrow, and we're required to read and write a paper about it. Slumbook much? Hmm. You decide.

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY APPLIED
Excursus on Love

Love is the polar case of intrinsic attraction. Love appears to make human beings unselfish because they enjoy giving pleasure to people they love. Generally, this devotion actually rests on the aim to maintain the other person's love. Exchange processes occur in love relations. It differs from social associations of extrinsic significance in that rewards are exchanged because they are means to produce the ultimate reward of intrinsic attraction. In other social association, exchange of specific rewards is its very objective. In love relations, rewarding the partner is due to the need to express and to confirm commitment to the association, not the expectation of rewards.

During the early stages of falling in love, each partner hides his/her true feelings due to fears of rejection and dependence. This concealment, together with increasing dependence on each other, causes frustration. Here, dependence on each other is tested. This threatens the survival of the relationship. Individuals are compelled to express sufficient commitment in order to save the relationship. When one of them is not yet ready to commit, the conflict may terminate the relationship.

Human beings derive pleasure from sacrificing for those they love. After having sacrificed for a loved one and repeatedly rewarded for it by increased attachment from the other, giving pleasure eventually seems to be intrinsically gratifying. Favors and presents, being signs of love may stimulate one's affection for the other and vice versa.One may encourage more gifts and favors not because of the material benefits themselves but because of the need to foster the other's love for him/her.

This is just the first page. It actually is quite interesting to read about love in a non-romantic kind of way. The whole idea of cheesy, cringe-worthy love is so overrated, it's refreshing to see an analytical and sociological perspective. Well, for me at least.

Now I have to go and finish my paper. Describe your ideal romantic partner. Define Love. What do you think are the prerequisites of a long-lasting relationship? Wowww. Admittedly this is difficult. Sure I may have my types (ehem ehem Nathan Scott, Chris Tiu.. the likes. Haha) but they're just feast for the eyes. Ideally they may be perfect, but who knows if our personalities will mesh well? Can I handle being the girlfriend of a major basketball star? And am I capable of being in a real, mature, long-lasting relationship? NGHHH. Things like this make me realize how much I DON'T know about life. Haha. Maybe I'm just not old enough to know what love is yet. Maybe. So how am I supposed to answer this?

I think I know enough about love to understand that it's more than just an overwhelming wave of emotion. It encompasses so many things on so many levels. It makes everything a couple of shades brighter and darker at the same time. It makes you sensible but also a bit stupid. It wounds but it also heals. It's too complex.

But then again, I'm just 17. Maybe I shouldn't try too hard to demystify love.






(The little voice inside my head)
Karla, it's just a paper. Let's not get too carried away.

Has it really been that long?

I'm having this very meaningful trip down to memory lane with my very dear friend, Cathe-slash-Cars. We just came from our friend Kaila's 18th birthday party. After getting our caffeine fix at Starbucks and reaching home, we started talking over YM about how unfortunate and difficult it is to not have water supply here in Paranaque, then we ended up reminiscing about our friendship. From our bondings at leadership trainings, to our first blogging years.. we have so many memories together and yet all the moments we shared feel like it was only yesterday.

In fact, everything feels like it was only yesterday.

These days, I try to avoid nostalgia. Because it brings back memories both good and bad. And I'm not good at dealing with unpleasant memories. But mostly because I really don't want to get stuck in the past anymore. I've gotten myself stuck in a rut for the past few months because I could not get over unfinished business in high school. I could not settle things not just with other people, but with myself as well. It was as if I was in a mess I could not and would not get out of.

Then 2009 happened. And yes, I'm proud to say I've grown up a lot already. I know it sounds impossible to "grow up" in a month or so, but I really felt like I did. I started talking to some friends again, I stopped being angry at certain people, I learned to let go of things that I held on to. I started to realize that there was no point in holding any more grudges. Looking back, I still feel a pang of pain. But now it's as if I've begun seeing the bigger picture. I've started connecting the dots, and now everything is making sense. I guess feeling sad over things that ended is natural -- but I don't feel regretful anymore. And maybe that's a good thing. Because it's only when we start accepting things that the healing can actually begin.

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save."
-- Your Ex-Lover Is Dead; Stars

(Sometimes, it's easy to believe that life imitates art. Thanks for recommending this song, Cathe-slash-Cars!)



I did not mean to sound morose tonight -- err, this morning. The rude awakening just happened unexpectedly :P

I'm still on a caffeine high! Woooh, thank you very much White Mocha. Now I can't sleep. Good thing I have Cathe-slash-Cars to keep me company in my sabaw-ness. We're planning our future joint venture. Let's just say it probably won't get us to Santa's Nice Kids list this year! Haha.


Ciao, mi amici :)

Live through this and you won't look back.

No. This is not me not getting over Valentine's. This is me in Socio10 mode. We're discussing the Sociology of Loooove tomorrow, and we're required to read and write a paper about it. Slumbook much? Hmm. You decide.

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY APPLIED
Excursus on Love

Love is the polar case of intrinsic attraction. Love appears to make human beings unselfish because they enjoy giving pleasure to people they love. Generally, this devotion actually rests on the aim to maintain the other person's love. Exchange processes occur in love relations. It differs from social associations of extrinsic significance in that rewards are exchanged because they are means to produce the ultimate reward of intrinsic attraction. In other social association, exchange of specific rewards is its very objective. In love relations, rewarding the partner is due to the need to express and to confirm commitment to the association, not the expectation of rewards.

During the early stages of falling in love, each partner hides his/her true feelings due to fears of rejection and dependence. This concealment, together with increasing dependence on each other, causes frustration. Here, dependence on each other is tested. This threatens the survival of the relationship. Individuals are compelled to express sufficient commitment in order to save the relationship. When one of them is not yet ready to commit, the conflict may terminate the relationship.

Human beings derive pleasure from sacrificing for those they love. After having sacrificed for a loved one and repeatedly rewarded for it by increased attachment from the other, giving pleasure eventually seems to be intrinsically gratifying. Favors and presents, being signs of love may stimulate one's affection for the other and vice versa.One may encourage more gifts and favors not because of the material benefits themselves but because of the need to foster the other's love for him/her.

This is just the first page. It actually is quite interesting to read about love in a non-romantic kind of way. The whole idea of cheesy, cringe-worthy love is so overrated, it's refreshing to see an analytical and sociological perspective. Well, for me at least.

Now I have to go and finish my paper. Describe your ideal romantic partner. Define Love. What do you think are the prerequisites of a long-lasting relationship? Wowww. Admittedly this is difficult. Sure I may have my types (ehem ehem Nathan Scott, Chris Tiu.. the likes. Haha) but they're just feast for the eyes. Ideally they may be perfect, but who knows if our personalities will mesh well? Can I handle being the girlfriend of a major basketball star? And am I capable of being in a real, mature, long-lasting relationship? NGHHH. Things like this make me realize how much I DON'T know about life. Haha. Maybe I'm just not old enough to know what love is yet. Maybe. So how am I supposed to answer this?

I think I know enough about love to understand that it's more than just an overwhelming wave of emotion. It encompasses so many things on so many levels. It makes everything a couple of shades brighter and darker at the same time. It makes you sensible but also a bit stupid. It wounds but it also heals. It's too complex.

But then again, I'm just 17. Maybe I shouldn't try too hard to demystify love.






(The little voice inside my head)
Karla, it's just a paper. Let's not get too carried away.

Has it really been that long?

I'm having this very meaningful trip down to memory lane with my very dear friend, Cathe-slash-Cars. We just came from our friend Kaila's 18th birthday party. After getting our caffeine fix at Starbucks and reaching home, we started talking over YM about how unfortunate and difficult it is to not have water supply here in Paranaque, then we ended up reminiscing about our friendship. From our bondings at leadership trainings, to our first blogging years.. we have so many memories together and yet all the moments we shared feel like it was only yesterday.

In fact, everything feels like it was only yesterday.

These days, I try to avoid nostalgia. Because it brings back memories both good and bad. And I'm not good at dealing with unpleasant memories. But mostly because I really don't want to get stuck in the past anymore. I've gotten myself stuck in a rut for the past few months because I could not get over unfinished business in high school. I could not settle things not just with other people, but with myself as well. It was as if I was in a mess I could not and would not get out of.

Then 2009 happened. And yes, I'm proud to say I've grown up a lot already. I know it sounds impossible to "grow up" in a month or so, but I really felt like I did. I started talking to some friends again, I stopped being angry at certain people, I learned to let go of things that I held on to. I started to realize that there was no point in holding any more grudges. Looking back, I still feel a pang of pain. But now it's as if I've begun seeing the bigger picture. I've started connecting the dots, and now everything is making sense. I guess feeling sad over things that ended is natural -- but I don't feel regretful anymore. And maybe that's a good thing. Because it's only when we start accepting things that the healing can actually begin.

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save."
-- Your Ex-Lover Is Dead; Stars

(Sometimes, it's easy to believe that life imitates art. Thanks for recommending this song, Cathe-slash-Cars!)



I did not mean to sound morose tonight -- err, this morning. The rude awakening just happened unexpectedly :P

I'm still on a caffeine high! Woooh, thank you very much White Mocha. Now I can't sleep. Good thing I have Cathe-slash-Cars to keep me company in my sabaw-ness. We're planning our future joint venture. Let's just say it probably won't get us to Santa's Nice Kids list this year! Haha.


Ciao, mi amici :)

Live through this and you won't look back.