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and when at last I find you


"Are you... are you crying? Because of a puppy video*?"

"But look at it. It's so cute. And pure. And happy. And cute."

"Yeah. So?"

"Don't you find it cute?!"

"Well--"

"It has the Beatles' 'I Will' playing! How can you resist that?!"

"It's just a dog."

"It's not just a dog. It's the simplicity of happiness in that puppy's face. And the beauty of having a creature just looking at you like that and loving you unconditionally. It's having the Beatles ask you, 'Who knows how long I've loved you?' and without you having to say anything, they answer 'You know I love you still.' It's that certainty. That sudden realization that despite what the world throws at you, despite whatever kind of shit you get yourself into, at the end of the day, this love is simple. Love, in its sincerest, most honest form, is easy. It's the look on a puppy's face when you come home after a long day. It's the honesty of a smile when you ask if you can have the last slice of chocolate cake. It's the way your hand is held after the anesthesia wears off, it's the way your tears are wiped away when the antibiotics kick in. It's when you have someone in your life who finally makes you feel like the entire galaxy is in your chest and all the stars make a constellation of the parts of you that you never thought you will come to lose. It's the way he pauses when Paul McCartney croons 'Will I wait a lonely lifetime?' because in his head, he is building you a house and painting you a fence and giving you the rain showerhead you've always wanted. 'If you want me to I will,' he finally sings. And before the song even ends, he looks at you the way clouds look at the moon, and in that instant, you know it's the life you've always dreamed of, right there in front of you. Like an apparition that makes you believe, like a universe that has come to being and has given you the sun."


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* This is the link to the puppy video. If you can watch it without feeling anything, your heart is made of stone.

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