home           about           blog           archives           domain           exits           ask
 

neither of us are the same

January 20, 2016    |    0 COMMENT(S)

"I’ve been made to believe that a natural progression from a close encounter with death is to have a new perspective on things, maybe a steelier resolve. On some level, this must be what people mean when they ask me now how I’m doing, or if things are back to “normal” yet. Molly and I talk about how our version of “normal” has necessarily shifted, but that’s a functional blanket for an infinite number of things that have slowly moved around, not a sudden tectonic rupture. It’s not that deep, but neither of us are the same."

— Trying by Emma Carmichael,
From The Awl, December 2015

The last couple of weeks have been crazy.

But this article is probably the closest thing I've found that best explains how I'm feeling and where my mind is at (that is not another song). "Being in an accident and trying to make sense of its narrative" is how the tweet that led me to this article was written. And you know how sometimes you are what you click? I guess that says a lot.

Have I figured out how to tell this story one day? In my head, yes. I've imagined it many times over. Will I share it? Probably not now, or maybe ever. Am I having a crisis? Not the kind that people around me think I am.

Yet after all this, the biggest question of all is not "Do you realize how #blessed you are?" or "Have your prayers been answered?" But rather, "Have I been asking right?"

Because I got an answer, definitely, although I have no idea what was the question.



________________________________________________________________