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The bed is unmade.

September 26, 2010    |    0 COMMENT(S)

And here I am yet again, sleepless and eyes wide awake in the middle of the night. Being the insane sleeper that I was for most of my life, I'm still having difficulty grappling with this seemingly newfound "friend" called Insomnia. Ever since college began, or perhaps more specifically, when the serious writing subjects began, I've been having more and more trouble sleeping. So yes, thank you very much for messing up my body clock, Stress.

But while stress will always be the number one reason for my restlessness, I've just had another complication to deal with: My New Bed.

A few weeks ago, they had to change my bed of more than ten years because of dust mites. (How they got there, I have no idea.) It's no surprise that my dorm bed has brought me more comfort recently than the one in my room because I spend more nights there. It's been my total refuge in times of late-night revising and cramming. It's smaller than a single and took me a long time to get used to it, but now it's a lovely companion. The old bed back at home has been more of a stranger in the last few months -- it's like we were drifting apart. And so, the decision to buy a new bed wasn't really that difficult for me to make. But of course, nothing can still replace that bed; it was My Bed. It was a beautiful double sized bed, big enough to have as much pillows and stuffed elephants as I wanted. It had been the venue of numerous sleepovers, brainstorming sessions, television show marathons and significant writing. It's the focal point of the room, and seeing it gone last weekend was just so devastating, to say the least. The room felt so empty without it.

And now that the new bed is here, it's just so different. The new one has a much better mattress (for my scoliosis) and is significantly smaller too -- it's a single to give my room more space. Besides, the main reason why I had a double was because my parents feared that I'd fall off the bed when I was seven. Now that I've been accustomed to sleeping in a smaller bed, we decided it would be more practical to get a new one in this size. And right now, at this very moment, I am lying down in my spanking new, beautiful wooden bed.

Last night was difficult. It was like meeting someone for the first time and being forced to get close to them. I was tossing and turning several times; I couldn't seem to get what I wanted with it. At one point, I started missing my old bed, softer and more gentle. To quote John Mayer, it was "so comfortable, so broken in." Several times during the night, I considered sleeping on our couch downstairs in our living room. (Which is just the best couch in the world! The Boyfriend and I even nicknamed it The Evil Couch of Sloth because there was no way you could ever get up once you've set your butt on it.)

But, I did fall asleep. Although not as quickly or as comfortable as I would have wanted, it managed to get me there, and I woke up with no aching backs or mysterious bruises. (But with some pillows on the floor.) I just couldn't help thinking to myself: It's like getting into a new relationship. There's this awkward, getting-to-know-you stage, where nothing seems to fall into their right places. I'm hopeful though, that like in most relationships, I'll get there. Sure, I will always miss My First Bed. The fond memories will always be there. But I'm certain it will only take a matter of time before I find myself lost in this bed, before I realize there isn't any strangeness anymore. One day, sleeping will be effortless again.

Until then, I am using my insomnia to finish my papers.



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