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Climbing up the walls.

August 24, 2010    |    0 COMMENT(S)

With all the stress that acads have been throwing at me these last few weeks, I'm surprised I still find myself in one piece when I wake up in the morning. The demands of school are crazy and I'm trying my best not to let them get to me, but on some days, it's just really more difficult to get out of bed and put up a brave face when all you want to do is snuggle in between the covers or take solace in corned tuna all day long. I know this too shall pass, and sooner or later, hey it's September, then before you know it, October: hello, sem break. Or if you want to look at it long term, one day I'm going to miss the frustration that is college. This is all part of life, blah blah.

I've been thinking-- well, for the last few days, I've been honestly getting adequate sleep and enough food. I don't skip meals, and I haven't been staying up as late as usual (although still not the required eight hours, but hey, forgivable for a college junior). I'm still getting things done and so far I'm still on the right track (or so I'd like to believe). And yes, that's something to be grateful for. But the thing is, no matter how much I try to put myself together, there will be days of exhaustion. And right now, I just really feel so tired. I'm super stressed-- I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO and God, it's just endless. Despite me still functioning normally, I'm getting more drained as days go by. Not so much as I'm on auto-pilot, but more like, spare battery. I haven't entirely lost all enthusiasm but I'm just not as fueled as I was, and I'm afraid one of these days that's exactly what's going to happen. I sense burnout coming my way.

I'm guessing this is only probably because of The First Semester Doldrums. Or maybe just my hormones going whack and making me feel emotionally unstable. (I am the unluckiest girl when it comes to PMS.) Or maybe -- the alpha-female in me does not want to admit this but -- I'm just really missing The Boyfriend. (Seriously. It's not that I'm beginning to be co-dependent on him but I'm not going to deny that actually seeing him, as opposed to texting, keeps me sane.) Well, whatever. Something's wrong. I'm not usually this clingy/needy. But in times of great stress I find myself crumbling and just wanting to retreat. For once, I'd like to take off the independent-and-responsible mask and just let go. I'm tired. Really.

In the meantime, I find solace in great music. And hot people. Case in point: Esquire's Good Morning Megan video. Yes, the Megan Fox. Look it up -- I swear I cannot even begin to describe it. Incidentally, the background music featured in it, "Climbing The Walls" by Chris Cornell (of Audioslave) just completely encapsulates the frustration I'm feeling right now. It also doesn't hurt that it sounds like such an awesome song to a hot make-out scene. Haha.

Sigh. Here's to hoping we all get through this semester (or even just this week) alive.



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