home           about           blog           archives           domain           exits           ask
 

Today.

July 14, 2010    |    0 COMMENT(S)

Today I feel like being random.

Today is the day I've been waiting for after a month's worth of stress and hassle: suspension of classes. With the heavy rains and the strong winds embracing me as the morning unfolded, I finally got my much-needed rest. ELEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP. Eleven glorious, beautiful hours! I haven't felt so rested in such a long time. While I don't think that's enough to completely wipe off all the sleep debt I've accumulated since college began, I think it's sufficient to keep me going for a week or so.

I think that may be the most productive thing I did today.

Today feels like the world has been turned one shade darker and suddenly everything is gray and pleasant. I always like this weather. I nestle in between sheets and cuddle with my pillows, and feel like things are going to be okay. Much like how life is pretty much going for me. Turbulent times have passed, and pain has done a good job of breaking me a part. But now, I feel calmer, more secure. Like the aftermath of a rainy day - things are not the same, but they are alright. Everything is cozy, everything is right.

Today I'm proofreading my English 21 critical paper on The Canterbury Tales. I'm doing a deconstruction on dominance & submission using The Wife of Bath's tale. Kinky, 14th century style. It was intriguing for me how someone from a time when women were considered second-class citizens could claim dominance on their men, and how these rich, affluent husbands allowed them to do so. It's fascinating how the need to lose control and be vulnerable is just as important as the need to be in power. We thrive on dominance, but we also desire submission and inferiority. I've always seen myself as a dominant type, but I honestly also like the feeling of being dependent, of leaning on to someone. I guess this makes me a.. versa? :)) CL184 would be so proud of me.

Today I'm craving for ice cream, McFlurry in particular, and much to me and my dormmates' surprise (and disappointment!), McDonald's Katipunan is closed! Goodness, how is that even possible? I know the power's been cut but it was restored a few hours ago and we couldn't believe we couldn't have our fill of nuggets and fries just when we needed it most. McDonald's is supposed to be this constant, permanent presence in the life of stressed-out college students -- it's not supposed to close. Nghhh.

Today is a Stars kind of day. I think the reason I hold this band so dear to me is because there is no one else out there who can sing about love and hurt so exquisitely like they do. They tell stories of life and despair, of sunny days and hurricanes, but always in such a beautiful, cohesive way. They're the perfect companion for staying in bed and refusing to get out of the sheets, or sailing through a perfectly fine day. They always, always make me feel better.

Today I feel like being random. But in all my randomness, for the first time in a long time, I feel consistency. I feel like everything finally makes sense, like everything has fallen into their right places.

Today I'm okay.



________________________________________________________________