OH FUDGE, I JUST MISSED THE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CONCERT.

/wrists

It has always been a vicious love-hate cycle between the CRS and the rest of the UP Diliman students. It's much like the dream girl everyone wants to snag -- it's the embodiment of pure frustration. You get your hopes up so high, anticipating a much desired result, only to end up rejected and defeated. You try and try until you get what you deserve, only to be turned down in the end. The CRS is treacherous and cunning -- especially to (embittered) upperclassmen. But then again, it has its good moments. Much like any girl being courted, maybe it's just asking you to be more patient. And persevering. Because sometimes, if you're lucky, you get the much needed love you so rightfully deserve.

(Or maybe it's the gods way of bringing me back good karma for not cursing the CRS so much?)

This semester, I got a PE! Through pre-enlistment! I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am over this! Woooooh! Duckpin Bowling! I don't care how lame it might sound, as long as I have a PE!

Dear CRS, you deserve to be thanked in this post. I love yoooou! \:D/

Sorry wasn't able to do The Shuffle last week, but we're back in action today! So we're leaving for Singapore later today, around 9 pm, and we'd be back by Monday next week. I'm pretty excited for this trip because 1) I've been wanting to have a real, proper summer getaway because my summer this year was taken up by acads, 2) I want to go shopping again, and 3) Universal Studios Singapore! \m/ Little known fact: My tita, mom's sister, is the project manager of Universal Studios Singapore so we've all known this for a few years already, seeing her designs and all the other cool rides and now finally, I get to experience it! So yeaaaah!

So someone left me an interesting question in my question box. (Yes, I'm surprised there are still people who bother asking! Haha.)

It's just very timely, I guess because my blockmates and I have been discussing this for the last few days. We're incoming juniors, and we're almost at that make-or-break stage in our college lives already. There's practically no turning back, and yet it's inevitable to feel doubtful about the career path we're (about to be) taking, especially since it's often deemed as a unprofitable choice. Nobody really takes it seriously, I suppose. So yes, it can get frustrating.

First let me give you a background story: In 2008, the CW freshman block only had 6 students. That was me, Andee, Jamie, Rose, Cathy, and Jonika. Cathy shifted out, Rose took an LOA and is also shifting out, Jonika dropped out of school -- which leaves only the Three Musketeers aka The Plastics (see previous post) aka Karla-Andee-Jamie. It was wearisome to see the already small block slowly diminishing, but it was understandable. We made "tampo" to those who left, but we never really forced them to stay. After all, if that was what they wanted, why stop them? They have their reasons.

As for me, CW is actually my pre-law course. It's a stepping stone for my actual dream, which is to become a lawyer. But I also love to write, and read. Literature and English have always been my strengths so it wasn't such a bad idea. Anyway, I felt like I had enough passion for this course to pursue it, so I didn't find any reason to shift at all.

Most people will claim that CW is a lame and effortless course compared to, say, engineering or chemistry. But what people don't realize is that it's a course that depends more on talent and skill rather than book-smarts. You have to be really good at it to survive, and most of all you have to be passionate about it. I know that goes for all the other courses too but ours is fueled by nothing but that. Unlike math or physics that you can study with books and problem sets, you cannot actually study how to write. Sure, we are given lots of readings, and we are taught techniques, but there is no one way of doing it. You have to find your way, then let it do the working for you.

This is where it gets frustrating. Because I think none of us in the block were really writers per se, as in people who walk around seeing poetry in nature, and finding inspiration in almost anything. We like writing, and we're all undeniably bookworms, but I don't think any of us were that dedicated. We weren't really artists.

It can get discouraging to be reading about Brechtian didactics on plays or coming up with short stories and villanelles when you really don't have the innate desire for it. Creative Writing is a pretty tedious course. We have an insane amount of readings that you cannot afford to not read. We need an indefinite time to create prose and poetry. And really, we have to have passion for it. But sometimes, that passion dries up. And when that happens, we're screwed. We don't always feel like reading or writing, but we have to. Because that's what our course is about.

So to answer your question: yes, it is difficult. It's underrated. It's easy to want to give up. I dare whoever wants to belittle our course to discuss the different elements of plays and their modern/postmodernist approaches, or to defend Walter Pater's "Art for art's sake" stand. Or even just to come up with a 10-page critical analysis of an 18th century poem.

That's why I cannot blame my (remaining) blockmates for wanting to leave. I understand the pain, the frustration, the anxiety. What is the point in all of this anyway? It's not any easier but unlike the other courses, it's more difficult to see the practical purpose of this career. I honestly told them that even if it will sadden me a bit, I will support their decision 100% should they decide to shift. Because I know it's getting hard for them, and their hearts lie somewhere else.

But what about me? Despite the apparent struggles, have I ever considered shifting? No. Honestly, I doubt my writing capabilities. I don't think I am a good writer. Okay, maybe I know more words and commit lesser errors than some people, but I don't see myself as a real, actual artist. But I don't want to shift. The most obvious reason is because I'm already two years down, and only two more to go. I'm a half-baked CW student with no other subjects left to take but literature and CW majors. How am I going to shift? And where? I have nowhere to go. Sure, I may have really enjoyed philosophy class, or that sometimes I still wonder what it would be like if I pursued my mom's dream for me which was Accountancy, but it's all too late. And besides, I don't think I can handle any more debits and bank statements.

But more importantly, I think deep down in me, I know I can finish this course. I should finish this course. Not because I'm an awesome writer, or an extremely intelligent student, but because I know I like it enough to work hard on it. There was a reason why I chose this course and maybe all I have to do is keep finding that reason when I feel like giving up. I may not feel like I'm good at it, but I know I can make it through. I know it's difficult, but no matter what course I may be in, it will be difficult. Everything will be difficult. It all just boils down to how determined you are. And what your goal is. I'm going to keep myself afloat despite everything else that seems to drown me because I told myself when I started college that I'm going to finish this, so I will. Whatever it takes. Because this is what I have to do to get to what I really want, which is law school. I can't afford to mess it up. So I'm gonna have to suck it all up, work my ass off, and do my best.

I'm going to embrace being a writer, because I have to. Even if the only consistent "creative non-fiction" I do right now is blogging. Haha. :))

P.S. I just remembered I still have a final paper to submit for CL114. WHAT THE. So much for motivating myself. Tamad pa din ako T_T Hahaha. No waaait. Go fight, Bombastarrrr!

For the last few days, me and my blockmates Andy and Jamie have been quoting Mean Girls, endlessly. Yes. Endlessly. I can't remember how it started exactly but once we began we just couldn't stop. We can actually quote the entire movie from the beginning up until the end!

Last Wednesday, we they wore pink. (I didn't have any pink shirts at the dorm, so I can't sit with them. Haha.)

It's freshman orientation this week at UP. I first met Andy and Jamie the same week two years ago. It's funny how in a span of just twenty four months we've become the best of friends, finishing each other's sentences and understanding each other's fetishes. Funny, yet comforting all the same. It's nice knowing there are equally queer, eccentric and weird people as me.

If ever these guys get to read this: BOO, YOU WHORES :* I love you ;)


//


I just finished watching (500) Days of Summer again on my iPod. It always gets to me. Always. It doesn't stop hurting each time I watch it. It doesn't stop making me feel bad for Tom. It somehow always brings me back to times I wish I could forget, to times I thought I had found someone, but then ended up being completely wrong about it. I can't help rooting for Summer and Tom every time I watch the movie, because they complemented each other perfectly. And yet, somehow they didn't. It's true -- sometimes when looking back to the past, we can't help but romanticize everything, we can't help but drown ourselves in nostalgic bliss, making us regret losing what we had with that someone. But if there is anything I learned from this movie, it's that I have to stop looking through rose-colored glasses. Everything turned out the way it did because it just wasn't supposed to be. That's life.

And the good news is, there's always a new day. There's always someone better that would come along, someone who could complete us in a different way. And when that day comes, we could only be grateful that it didn't work out with the other one.


//


Summer classes end next week! I already feel so accomplished! \:D/

Watched Iron Man 2 today.

The movie made an incredible point that men all over the world should understand: It's not enough to just be cute and hot anymore. You have to be awesome at math and physics too. Because I swear, there is nothing hotter than a guy who can get his equations right. :">

Tony Stark is legendary. I think he just became my favorite superhero. Next to Batman of course. Who by the way, is also another hunky geek with awesome gadgets. I like not just boys with big toys, but boys who can actually make their big toys :))

Hmm. Maybe this is why I am unconsciously more attracted to guys who ace math. And breeze through physics. And can explain to me how car engines and refrigerators work. Yes, I think I have a fetish for engineers :))

OH FUDGE, I JUST MISSED THE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CONCERT.

/wrists

It has always been a vicious love-hate cycle between the CRS and the rest of the UP Diliman students. It's much like the dream girl everyone wants to snag -- it's the embodiment of pure frustration. You get your hopes up so high, anticipating a much desired result, only to end up rejected and defeated. You try and try until you get what you deserve, only to be turned down in the end. The CRS is treacherous and cunning -- especially to (embittered) upperclassmen. But then again, it has its good moments. Much like any girl being courted, maybe it's just asking you to be more patient. And persevering. Because sometimes, if you're lucky, you get the much needed love you so rightfully deserve.

(Or maybe it's the gods way of bringing me back good karma for not cursing the CRS so much?)

This semester, I got a PE! Through pre-enlistment! I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am over this! Woooooh! Duckpin Bowling! I don't care how lame it might sound, as long as I have a PE!

Dear CRS, you deserve to be thanked in this post. I love yoooou! \:D/

Sorry wasn't able to do The Shuffle last week, but we're back in action today! So we're leaving for Singapore later today, around 9 pm, and we'd be back by Monday next week. I'm pretty excited for this trip because 1) I've been wanting to have a real, proper summer getaway because my summer this year was taken up by acads, 2) I want to go shopping again, and 3) Universal Studios Singapore! \m/ Little known fact: My tita, mom's sister, is the project manager of Universal Studios Singapore so we've all known this for a few years already, seeing her designs and all the other cool rides and now finally, I get to experience it! So yeaaaah!

So someone left me an interesting question in my question box. (Yes, I'm surprised there are still people who bother asking! Haha.)

It's just very timely, I guess because my blockmates and I have been discussing this for the last few days. We're incoming juniors, and we're almost at that make-or-break stage in our college lives already. There's practically no turning back, and yet it's inevitable to feel doubtful about the career path we're (about to be) taking, especially since it's often deemed as a unprofitable choice. Nobody really takes it seriously, I suppose. So yes, it can get frustrating.

First let me give you a background story: In 2008, the CW freshman block only had 6 students. That was me, Andee, Jamie, Rose, Cathy, and Jonika. Cathy shifted out, Rose took an LOA and is also shifting out, Jonika dropped out of school -- which leaves only the Three Musketeers aka The Plastics (see previous post) aka Karla-Andee-Jamie. It was wearisome to see the already small block slowly diminishing, but it was understandable. We made "tampo" to those who left, but we never really forced them to stay. After all, if that was what they wanted, why stop them? They have their reasons.

As for me, CW is actually my pre-law course. It's a stepping stone for my actual dream, which is to become a lawyer. But I also love to write, and read. Literature and English have always been my strengths so it wasn't such a bad idea. Anyway, I felt like I had enough passion for this course to pursue it, so I didn't find any reason to shift at all.

Most people will claim that CW is a lame and effortless course compared to, say, engineering or chemistry. But what people don't realize is that it's a course that depends more on talent and skill rather than book-smarts. You have to be really good at it to survive, and most of all you have to be passionate about it. I know that goes for all the other courses too but ours is fueled by nothing but that. Unlike math or physics that you can study with books and problem sets, you cannot actually study how to write. Sure, we are given lots of readings, and we are taught techniques, but there is no one way of doing it. You have to find your way, then let it do the working for you.

This is where it gets frustrating. Because I think none of us in the block were really writers per se, as in people who walk around seeing poetry in nature, and finding inspiration in almost anything. We like writing, and we're all undeniably bookworms, but I don't think any of us were that dedicated. We weren't really artists.

It can get discouraging to be reading about Brechtian didactics on plays or coming up with short stories and villanelles when you really don't have the innate desire for it. Creative Writing is a pretty tedious course. We have an insane amount of readings that you cannot afford to not read. We need an indefinite time to create prose and poetry. And really, we have to have passion for it. But sometimes, that passion dries up. And when that happens, we're screwed. We don't always feel like reading or writing, but we have to. Because that's what our course is about.

So to answer your question: yes, it is difficult. It's underrated. It's easy to want to give up. I dare whoever wants to belittle our course to discuss the different elements of plays and their modern/postmodernist approaches, or to defend Walter Pater's "Art for art's sake" stand. Or even just to come up with a 10-page critical analysis of an 18th century poem.

That's why I cannot blame my (remaining) blockmates for wanting to leave. I understand the pain, the frustration, the anxiety. What is the point in all of this anyway? It's not any easier but unlike the other courses, it's more difficult to see the practical purpose of this career. I honestly told them that even if it will sadden me a bit, I will support their decision 100% should they decide to shift. Because I know it's getting hard for them, and their hearts lie somewhere else.

But what about me? Despite the apparent struggles, have I ever considered shifting? No. Honestly, I doubt my writing capabilities. I don't think I am a good writer. Okay, maybe I know more words and commit lesser errors than some people, but I don't see myself as a real, actual artist. But I don't want to shift. The most obvious reason is because I'm already two years down, and only two more to go. I'm a half-baked CW student with no other subjects left to take but literature and CW majors. How am I going to shift? And where? I have nowhere to go. Sure, I may have really enjoyed philosophy class, or that sometimes I still wonder what it would be like if I pursued my mom's dream for me which was Accountancy, but it's all too late. And besides, I don't think I can handle any more debits and bank statements.

But more importantly, I think deep down in me, I know I can finish this course. I should finish this course. Not because I'm an awesome writer, or an extremely intelligent student, but because I know I like it enough to work hard on it. There was a reason why I chose this course and maybe all I have to do is keep finding that reason when I feel like giving up. I may not feel like I'm good at it, but I know I can make it through. I know it's difficult, but no matter what course I may be in, it will be difficult. Everything will be difficult. It all just boils down to how determined you are. And what your goal is. I'm going to keep myself afloat despite everything else that seems to drown me because I told myself when I started college that I'm going to finish this, so I will. Whatever it takes. Because this is what I have to do to get to what I really want, which is law school. I can't afford to mess it up. So I'm gonna have to suck it all up, work my ass off, and do my best.

I'm going to embrace being a writer, because I have to. Even if the only consistent "creative non-fiction" I do right now is blogging. Haha. :))

P.S. I just remembered I still have a final paper to submit for CL114. WHAT THE. So much for motivating myself. Tamad pa din ako T_T Hahaha. No waaait. Go fight, Bombastarrrr!

For the last few days, me and my blockmates Andy and Jamie have been quoting Mean Girls, endlessly. Yes. Endlessly. I can't remember how it started exactly but once we began we just couldn't stop. We can actually quote the entire movie from the beginning up until the end!

Last Wednesday, we they wore pink. (I didn't have any pink shirts at the dorm, so I can't sit with them. Haha.)

It's freshman orientation this week at UP. I first met Andy and Jamie the same week two years ago. It's funny how in a span of just twenty four months we've become the best of friends, finishing each other's sentences and understanding each other's fetishes. Funny, yet comforting all the same. It's nice knowing there are equally queer, eccentric and weird people as me.

If ever these guys get to read this: BOO, YOU WHORES :* I love you ;)


//


I just finished watching (500) Days of Summer again on my iPod. It always gets to me. Always. It doesn't stop hurting each time I watch it. It doesn't stop making me feel bad for Tom. It somehow always brings me back to times I wish I could forget, to times I thought I had found someone, but then ended up being completely wrong about it. I can't help rooting for Summer and Tom every time I watch the movie, because they complemented each other perfectly. And yet, somehow they didn't. It's true -- sometimes when looking back to the past, we can't help but romanticize everything, we can't help but drown ourselves in nostalgic bliss, making us regret losing what we had with that someone. But if there is anything I learned from this movie, it's that I have to stop looking through rose-colored glasses. Everything turned out the way it did because it just wasn't supposed to be. That's life.

And the good news is, there's always a new day. There's always someone better that would come along, someone who could complete us in a different way. And when that day comes, we could only be grateful that it didn't work out with the other one.


//


Summer classes end next week! I already feel so accomplished! \:D/

Watched Iron Man 2 today.

The movie made an incredible point that men all over the world should understand: It's not enough to just be cute and hot anymore. You have to be awesome at math and physics too. Because I swear, there is nothing hotter than a guy who can get his equations right. :">

Tony Stark is legendary. I think he just became my favorite superhero. Next to Batman of course. Who by the way, is also another hunky geek with awesome gadgets. I like not just boys with big toys, but boys who can actually make their big toys :))

Hmm. Maybe this is why I am unconsciously more attracted to guys who ace math. And breeze through physics. And can explain to me how car engines and refrigerators work. Yes, I think I have a fetish for engineers :))