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She will be-loved.
In CL184 class the other day we were discussing the dynamics of a relationship: the presence of a "lover" and a "beloved." It has been observed that in relationships, there is almost always someone who loves more than the other. And usually, wonderful literary works (poems, songs, novels) are created by the "lovers."
I really think that from the artistic point of view, it is always more noble to be the "lover." The anguish, the frustration, the uncertainty -- it all makes for a great piece of literature. I couldn't think of a time where I was not itching to make sense of everything by writing about it. I think a part of me, a huge part of me, wanted art to always imitate life. Or the other way around. I wanted my works to mirror what was happening to me because though they were painful, they were intoxicating -- suffering is always an artist's favorite ingredient.
And yet, stripping way all these literary inhibitions and standards, just as a real, normal human being, I honestly like being the "beloved." Looking back on my past relationships (if you could call them that), I realized I never really became one because I was always determined to get who I really, really wanted. I wanted to shower someone with MY affection to prove my sincerity. And by doing so, I never really got anything for myself. I didn't give myself the chance to look around and see who wanted to do that for me. I was subconsciously resisting being the "beloved."
Now, I think I am. I feel elated not only because of course who wouldn't want to be pampered, but also because as time passes by you realize when you find someone, who likes who more doesn't matter anymore. You just enjoy each other's company -- nothing beats the simplicity of that.
They say there's no fulfillment being the beloved. While that may be true in the literary aspect (I honestly haven't been writing as much as when I was so perplexed), I'm finding myself in a much better place. I'm happy, I really am And who wouldn't be? There is someone out there who finally sees my worth. What's not fulfilling about that?
And as for the artistic/creative hiatus -- well I'm sure I'll come around. After all, an artist's next favorite ingredient is love :)
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She will be-loved.
In CL184 class the other day we were discussing the dynamics of a relationship: the presence of a "lover" and a "beloved." It has been observed that in relationships, there is almost always someone who loves more than the other. And usually, wonderful literary works (poems, songs, novels) are created by the "lovers."
I really think that from the artistic point of view, it is always more noble to be the "lover." The anguish, the frustration, the uncertainty -- it all makes for a great piece of literature. I couldn't think of a time where I was not itching to make sense of everything by writing about it. I think a part of me, a huge part of me, wanted art to always imitate life. Or the other way around. I wanted my works to mirror what was happening to me because though they were painful, they were intoxicating -- suffering is always an artist's favorite ingredient.
And yet, stripping way all these literary inhibitions and standards, just as a real, normal human being, I honestly like being the "beloved." Looking back on my past relationships (if you could call them that), I realized I never really became one because I was always determined to get who I really, really wanted. I wanted to shower someone with MY affection to prove my sincerity. And by doing so, I never really got anything for myself. I didn't give myself the chance to look around and see who wanted to do that for me. I was subconsciously resisting being the "beloved."
Now, I think I am. I feel elated not only because of course who wouldn't want to be pampered, but also because as time passes by you realize when you find someone, who likes who more doesn't matter anymore. You just enjoy each other's company -- nothing beats the simplicity of that.
They say there's no fulfillment being the beloved. While that may be true in the literary aspect (I honestly haven't been writing as much as when I was so perplexed), I'm finding myself in a much better place. I'm happy, I really am And who wouldn't be? There is someone out there who finally sees my worth. What's not fulfilling about that?
And as for the artistic/creative hiatus -- well I'm sure I'll come around. After all, an artist's next favorite ingredient is love :)
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She's a modern lover; it's an exploration, she's made of outer space
Hello, I'm Karla Bernardo. If you Google my name, you will find the Wikipedia entry of a Canadian serial-killer (and trust me, you do not want
to read about that - but I'm sure you will because now you're curious), which is why I suggest you type Bombastarr instead so you can stalk me better.
I spent eight-and-a-half years of my life in the University of the Philippines, where I graduated with degrees in Creative Writing and Juris Doctor. It is also where I learned how to speak a bit of Italian, got a taste of the best tapsilog, and took striptease for PE.
I love telling stories, as much as I enjoy finding them.
____Want more?
Featured Works
Stargirl ( Cover story for Nadine Lustre, Scout, January-February 2017)
Surreal / So Real (at Scout)
Ode to a Great Love's 17-year-old Self ( Love.Life, Philippine Daily Inquirer)
Postcard from Diliman
( Youngblood, Philippine Daily Inquirer)
Writer for Philippine Law Register
A Call to Arms (January 2017)
Expecting the Expected (March 2016)
Former Writer for Stache Magazine
The Hero's Journey (June 2013)
The 8 People You Become In Your Youth (June 2013)
The Best Bad Idea That Is Argo (April 2013)
Mike Ross Remembers Everything You Don't (August 2012)
Style Between the Riffs (August 2012)
Book Lovers Never Sleep Alone (June 2012)
A Spectrum of Change (December 2011)
Digital Art (October 2011)
Elements of Style (June 2011)
In Her White Dress (All-Art April 2011 issue)
Morning After Pill ( Fervore: Literary Folio 2013, UP Portia Sorority)
How To Make a Blueberry Cheesecake ( Kalas: Kalasag Literary Folio 2011, UP College of Arts and Letters)
January 14th ( 100: The Hundreds Project, UP Writer's Club)
An Ode to The
Pillow Book (at New-Slang)
Introductions (at TeenInk)
One by One (at TeenInk)
Ask, and you shall be answered
Got a comment, question, violent reaction, love letter, or random piece of information you want to share with me? Just fire away. I don't bite.
(I changed my form and went back to Freedback because Ask.fm's being a bitch, requiring people to sign up for accounts before asking questions. Because I love you guys, I tweaked my ask box a bit, so that the questions will now go directly to my e-mail, but I'll be posting the answers still on my Ask.fm for convenience. TL;DR - I'll still be getting your questions so no worries. You're still free to harass me / send me your love.)
Answers
Most Frequently Asked QuestionAre you a pornstar?No, I am not a pornstar, stripper, or your friendly neighborhood call girl. It's just a fancy pseudonym with a long history, and two R's. Rawr.
Bombastarr.com
Bombastarr is my personal blog and my little corner in the Internet since 2005. Yes, I started writing here when I was 13 years old (aka when I was very angsty, hormonal, and always gushing at the littlest things) -- ergo, you'd have to forgive me if you come across an old post that reeks of immaturity and slightly unpolished grammar. I did a lot of growing up here, and from the looks of it, there's still a lot of growing up to do, so I don't think I'll be leaving this place any time soon.
The domain, Bombastarr.com, was purchased on June 2014 and
launched on July 2014, on the blog's ninth year (and fifth month, to be exact).
It's crazy to think that this blog is now thirteen years old, because (1) that seems like an eternity in internet years, and (2) that means if my blog were a kid, it's a teenager! That's insane.
Here's to more tales, explosive and otherwise.
So, why Bombastarr?
If you've been living under a rock and think I'm a threat to world peace or an object of covetousness, sorry to disappoint you, folks: it's just a fancy pseudonym.
As in most things, it started in high school. It began as a joke between me and a couple of friends during our freshman year. We were practicing for a field demonstration dance which involved the use of shawls, and being the crazy-always-trying-to-be-funny person that I was (or I always attempted to be) I started doing poses with the garment. Someone started taking my picture using my phone, and one shot looked like I was posing for those B-list movies (or should it be R-list, as in R-rated?) of the vegetable-nomenclature variety. #IKYWIM. Hence, the word, "Bombastarr." Yes, very cheeky, I know, but for a 13-year-old, it was quirky enough to figure as a username. That was 2005, right around the time I trying to decide on a URL for a new blog. It's been a lot of years since, and what started as a joke became something I've eventually embraced as an identity.
Despite the many other chances I've gotten to permanently move (to Multiply, Livejournal, Tumblr, Wordpress; to a bigger platform where I can earn or use the blog as a venue for commerce), I've come to realize that Bombastarr is something I can never truly leave behind. It is a place I've grown to appreciate and love because it is a place I can call my own. It's a venue for my rants, my views, my writing. It is home, and it is who I am.
Bombastarr is a glimpse of my life: the thoughts, ideas, and stories that shape it into what it is, and what it will still become. This journal has been with me for all my crazy, often embarrassing adventures, but I'm sure there will be more anecdotes and feelings and people to write about. Which is something I'm really looking forward to. After all, you know what they say about the greatest stories - sometimes, there's still a lot that's left unwritten.
Credits and thank you's
This blog is hosted by PhilHosting.net, and powered by Blogger. The layout is coded entirely by me.
Photo hosting: TinyPic, Photobucket
Question box: EmailMeForm, Ask.fm
Copyright © BOMBASTARR
Elsewhere, she wanders
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