It was a bright, beautiful weekend that met my high school friends and I when our much-awaited summer getaway finally, FINALLY pushed through. Almost everything about the trip was uncertain until the day before; the only thing we were sure of was that we blocked the entire weekend for a trip with our plus-ones, but initial plans kept falling through until the last minute. We couldn't let the opportunity pass, though -- we were available, we were going with our plus-ones, we already had transpo. It had to take eleventh-hour decisions for the entire trip to come to fruition. But as it always happens when it comes to our group, things always turn out great in the end.

And great doesn't even begin to describe it.





We stayed at a cottage in Padre Burgos, Quezon, from where we were to take boat trips to three different islands around the area: Borawan, Dampalitan, and Puting Buhangin. The place is relatively unknown to regular folk, but research (aka Google) will yield you several articles and blog posts about this "must-visit" place. I was actually the one who suggested the place when we first started talking about our summer plans a few months ago, since my family and I went to Quezon over the Holy Week. My friends had other plans and resorts in mind, initially, but when we realized most famous destinations were already full, we had to look for something else both cheap yet still remarkable.

It was a 5-hour trip from Paranaque to Padre Burgos. But you know how when you're with your best friends, five hours never feels like an eternity? It felt like being on the bus again for a high school field trip, only this time we have other people as partners :)) It was our first time to go out-of-town with the Boyband (aka, our plus-ones) so you can understand why everyone was extra excited about the trip. It's nice that we can act normal and behave like 15-year-old convent girls again even in front of the boys.

Ludwin and I stayed awake for the entire ride because we had to navigate and help out our driver. (Thanks, Google Maps!) Padre Burgos is on the edge of Quezon, so it's a bit difficult and tricky to get there. You can understand why not a lot of people visit the place because it's a bit far, and the bypass roads going there are still under construction. We passed by Sariaya, Lucena, and Pagbilao before reaching the town of Padre Burgos.




The great thing about the accommodation Trixie was able to arrange for us is that it included everything we needed for the weekend: (1) a cottage that had four rooms (great for all 14 of us, including our driver) which was by the sea, but not by the beach, (2) the boat rental to go to the three islands around the area, i.e. the relatively-more-known Borawan, Puting Buhangin, and Dampalitan, and (3) three meals: Saturday lunch and dinner plus Sunday breakfast. It was definitely sulit. (Shout-out to our contact, Ate Irma.)

When we arrived we had a feast of liempo and sinigang na isda (I forget which fish though). Originally, the plan was to spend the entire afternoon at the farthest island then spend the next morning at the nearer islands. However, because we arrived way past lunch, we just decided to spend the entire afternoon in the "middle" island and wake up early the next day for the other beaches.




The boat ride to Borawan Island took us around 15-20 minutes. We passed by several smaller islands before reaching the place. The beach was named such because of its white sand and pristine blue seas, similar to both Boracay and Palawan. (YES, true story, haven't you figured it out yet?) Lots of tents and huts were pitched along the shore because it wasn't a big island - it can't accommodate buildings and hotels. Some people opt to stay overnight and rent tents (which we were originally supposed to do) but when we saw the gray clouds hovering above us soon after we left Padre Burgos for Borawan, we realized it was a good thing we decided to look for a house instead.




One thing I always hear and read about Borawan is that its waters are filled with jellyfish. You really can't go beyond the net they've pitched around a certain area, unless you want to do an Anne Curtis. As such, we spent more time taking pictures instead of actually swimming. :))

Another nice surprise about this trip is that we had Anizza come with us! Anizza is a friend from grade school and high school who left for the States after our first year. It's been nine years since we last saw her, but I swear it felt like nothing has changed! She just graduated college and is about to enter med school when she goes back to Florida, so it will be a long, looong while before we will see her again. It was definitely great timing that she was able to join us, even on short notice.




You may have already noticed that almost all of us were paired up by "love team" :)) TABING ILOG / TGIS style! Grabe, pang-90's Saturday afternoon teenage show! Summer out-of-town episode!

As I've mentioned before, this is definitely a new "era" for our barkada. We've never had this many plus-ones all at the same time! As my mom would joke, "Mga dalaga na din kayo!" Haha! Which explains why we're always so thrilled to be planning stuff that include the Boyband.

It's funny because we were such good girls back in high school - most of us were honor students, student officers, and varsity athletes. We didn't really go outside our comfort zones to explore "grown-up" stuff like drinking and smoking. And even in college, we rarely did as well. I can count the number of times we went out to drink in college. We don't even go to malls to hang out, unless we're eating at a restaurant. WE ARE SO LAME :))

But that's the thing. We're content with just hanging out and making daldal at each other's houses. We have sleepovers and movie marathons. We get along so well with each other that we can entertain ourselves for hours (and hours and hours) on end by just talking and laughing at each other. It's been decades of being just us, so to have these new guys join the "fray" and actually gel really well with us -- that's quite a feat! Imagine, they can last hours with us without alcohol! That's pretty impressive! Haha!







So, back to Borawan.

Since we couldn't let Anizza be the default photographer, since she's the balikbayan and had to be in most of the pictures, Hope was "bullied" into the role. She can't blame us, she brought with her an SLR! And she was the one who liked taking selfies.

You can measure how much we've missed each other by the amount of hirits we can make about Hope. :)) That's how much we love our girl. Look at her on top of a big-ass rock just to take a complete picture of all of us!





After a few hours (!) of walking around taking pictures, at around sunset, we decided to go back to our cottage. The rain started pouring on our boat ride back to Padre Burgos. It was a good call to go back early as we didn't want to be stuck out there on sea with the waves getting all high and dangerous.

Our trip was really koboy, in almost every sense of the word. For instance, in Padre Burgos there is currently an interruption on their water supply. They've not had a decent supply of water on their lines for two months now. So.. not a single drip in our comfort room. We had to make do with the very, very weak water stream from the faucet we found outside our house. Buhos and ipon ng tubig sa batya! It was fun, though. Na-skandalo ata yung mga pabo and manok na nakatambay sa labas ng bahay sa dami naming naligo. :))





Dinner was a generous serving of adobong manok and inihaw na tilapia. We had fun talking about each other's love stories - which is really cheesy and corny if you think about it. But in our defense, Anizza asked. After all it's the first time she's seeing all these couples, so she had every right to inquire :)) Then again, we realized we don't really know the exact stories behind each pair; it was fun having great laughs over everyone's silly beginnings.

Much to our surprise we all had "similar" first phases. It's cute hearing the boys tell the stories! Grabe, it really felt like an episode straight out of a baduy youth-oriented program! Medyo nababaduyan talaga ako while typing this. HAHAHA. But all in good fun and the spirit of camaraderie, I suppose. Game naman lahat eh. Maybe that's part of growing up too -- accepting that life is short, love is beautiful, why hide it? Baka nga #LoveAbangs talaga. (Ramon Bautista, preeeach!)


ANYWAY.

After the cheese-fest that was revisiting our histories, we negated the mushiness by playing a serious, and very manly tournament of: CARD GAMES. Lol! This was the continuation of our Bet On Your "Baby" play-offs we had last Christmas. (Ludwin and I are still the defending champs! Oh yeah! ...Ludwin and I are also the only ones who still care. Mehehe.) Pusoy, Pusoy Dos, and Bullshit (aka Bluff) became so intense because we did it by team, with the boys playing and the girls... cracking jokes and making unrelated side comments. We kept saying how worried we were that the boys might find us super lame and un-cool because we didn't have any other "fun" activities :)) But if there's anything we're good at, it's our talent of building up on each other's jokes. Sobrang witty lang eh. If we can't impress them with booze, we can at least make sure they know we're smart. It takes brilliance to be funny! :))

The group all went to bed before midnight because we wanted to start island-hopping early the next morning. We wanted to stay longer at the other islands, and since we were informed that the trip would take us about forty to an hour each, we had to make good use of our time.



There are very few words that can suffice to depict the beauty that welcomed us as we reached the shores of Puting Buhangin. It took us about forty-five minutes to reach the island from our cottage, but it was so, so worth it. The sand was pristine white and the sea, a clear, gleaming blue. The beach looked like a stripped-down, younger cousin of Boracay. It wasn't too crowded when we arrived; we managed to find a hut big enough to accommodate us for our meal. Brunch consisted of daing, corned beef, and egg. It's the best breakfast I've had in a long while - and yes, it had everything to do with the place I was at and the people I was with.





Puting Buhangin is a little off the coast of Pagbilao. On our boat ride we passed by Pagbilao power plant, (a place my dad has gone to countless times, thanks to his job) and several other mini-islands along the way. Another scenic spot on the island of Puting Buhangin is a partly-hidden cave, the Kwebang Lampas. It's a cave that goes through the other side of the island, from where you'll see the rest of the calming, exquisite view of Tayabas Bay.

Exquisite is an understatement to describe that view, I'm telling you.

I'll go as far as saying that's Puting Buhangin is so much more scenic than Boracay. (And of course, Borawan, which is a bit more overrated compared to the other islands surrounding it.)  Because the crowd is so small and the island is without establishments, the place offers a more remarkable experience. It's peaceful and quiet; stripped bare of telcomm signals, celebrities, and party sounds.  It's a view that literally makes you pause and say, "Wow." It's beautiful in its simplicity.

In true Karla fashion, I savored every Little Mermaid moment I had on the beach. Little-known fact: I find serenity in swimming. It's the only sport I *know* and it's also the only sport I really find great comfort in. Being in the water is refreshing for me in so many ways; it's like hitting a recharge button and letting the waves carry away unnecessary baggage. I love being out there at sea, but I love being on a pool just the same. As long as I'm in the water, I should be fine. Which is why I don't mind the heat of the sun as long as the sea is as clear and as spectacular as this.





Being there, so far away from home, it made me appreciate many things, small things and big things, most of which go unnoticed. Sure, there are things to feel worried about. But I have friends, family, people who love me; I have the luxury of being surrounded by the warmth and support of people who know my worth. What is there to complain about? :)

I find great solace in the fact that our group has managed to nurture our friendship after many, many years. As I've said before, we've been through so much: individually and as a group. But there's still so much growing up to do. At 22, what do we know, right? Life has changed in many ways for all of us, but I'm sure it's only the beginning of a lot more. I guess I'm waxing poetic about all this because as my third year in law school approaches, I realize how much work I still have to do as regards my my career. I'm still adjusting to a lot of things, despite being settled and comfortable in other parts of my life. Sometimes, I wish I could just go back to my checkered-black-and-white-skirt-wearing and Paulinian-Hymn-singing past. But then again, I wouldn't trade this level of friendship right now for anything. We've become this close because of the kind of people we've become after high school. We've grown up together.

But being with them also affirms the fact that there are certain parts of myself I shouldn't let go. There are parts of me that are okay, that are loved, that ought to not change ever - wherever life leads me. These are people who have stuck with me since we were doe-eyed graders learning to write cursive for the first time. We all learned Algebra and dissected frogs together. And now we're being good girlfriends together! We've loved so many versions of each other - I'm sure there's always room to love all the future versions as well.




Even this version of me that's such a cheesy girlfriend. :)) It was great having Ludwin with me for this trip. Travel has always been on top of our list of to-do's, and to have had this chance was definitely one for the books. It's always nice experiencing new things with him, because he's always game for anything but he never forgets his responsibilities. He embraces spontaneity, but he makes sure he's still also a step ahead. And he's so, so funny! I've never known a guy who cracks me up the same way he does. We're super weird together -- like, sniffing-each-other's-kilikili-when-there's-a-chance weird -- but we found out that we're weirder when we're out of Manila, apparently. Arguing-about-whose-mouthwash-is-better, deciding-who-puts-on-sunblock-better weird! And at the end of the day, isn't that what we all want? Someone to argue about mouthwash with? :))




Our group didn't want to leave Puting Buhangin (ever), but after a few hours, we had to take the boat ride to the other side of Padre Burgos, for Dampalitan Island. The trip back took about forty-five minutes, I believe. I forgot how long exactly though, because I think we all fell asleep!





But that didn't mean we had no energy left for pictures. Dampalitan was pretty much the same as Borawan: it had jellyfish in its waters too, which meant only a certain portion was safe for swimming. But the beach itself was beautiful too, and it was almost empty. We were probably the only large group there. We didn't swim anymore however, since it was already almost two o'clock in the afternoon, and we wanted to get back to Manila early. We took the obligatory couple selfies, complete group pics (thanks to our driver, Kuya Arnold), and kunwari-nageemote-sa-dalampasigan poses before finally heading back to Padre Burgos.






"Last-minute plans are always the best," --  that should probably be our barkada's motto by now. We came home wanting to plan ahead already because we had so. much. fun. But knowing us, even if we plan three years ahead, we'd still end up finalizing everything just the night before :))

I really hope we get to do this again real soon. And complete this time! (Hi Tin, Nica, and Inna.) I don't know how that's going to work out next year, since my "summer" will be on June and July. But we'll figure it out. We always do.

If there's anything this friendship (and this trip) has taught me, it's probably trust - in the universe, in your friends, in your friends' ability to Google last-ditch resorts available. And to trust that while there are things we can never be sure of, there are also things that will always stay the same.

Like friends, and great adventures, and the idea of Hope being our favorite comic. :))

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(Photo credits: Hope Velasco and Mikka Valenzuela)

Labels: friends, summer

Someone asked me on my question box how I'm spending my vacation, given the 4-month break thanks to the UP calendar shift. Our classes start in August this coming school year, so I still have until July to enjoy freedom and embrace it with open arms.

So far, I've spent most the last two months doing what any normal law student (I assume!) would do: bum around and savor this justified (and probably even much-deserved) laziness. I can be completely not productive and NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Or be productive with other stuff I actually enjoy, like read books for leisure or learning songs on the piano. Basta, guilt-free and totally acceptable. I've been sleeping and waking up to the feeling of stress and panic every day during the school year, so to have the luxury of doing absolutely nothing is just all kinds of glorious and wonderful.

But of course, to spend the entire four months on Bum Mode isn't exactly a great idea either - well, at least for me. I didn’t want to be too idle because then I might never want to go back to school again. Haha! So I decided to apply for an internship at a law firm, in hopes of making me feel like I'm still a law student despite the break. Or actually, it's more of, convincing myself that I am a competent enough law student to be thrown into the real setting.

And now here I am, working behind a desk, trying to draft pleadings, revising appeals, putting together formal offer of exhibits – actual legal work. The most frustrating thing for me about law school is that our professors only see us as case-readers, codal-absorbers, and exam-takers. Of course that is what legal education is about, and that is how we are supposed to be taught the foundations of the law. But that’s not all that the profession is about. Your performance in school may or may not necessarily be reflective of your worth as a student of a law. It shouldn't.

Sometimes, we forget that.

So here I am.

To work in a firm and to know that one is being trusted with actual legal work – the real deal – that’s definitely affirming. And while I’ve come to accept the fact that the “business” of a law school (i.e. the business of being mean, unkind, and not at all encouraging) is something I cannot escape, there’s hope that I still may be able to survive it after all. If I can hold my own in a law firm, drafting up pleadings and trying to come up with defenses for a hearing, then I’m sure as hell I can do just as well in school. I have to, and I will.

I’m glad and fortunate to be given substantial work in my office. Drafting pleadings makes me hit two birds with one stone: doing a lot of writing (which I miss), and learning much about the law as applied in practice. It truly is a great experience, and so far, I’m glad to have taken this opportunity to make myself feel better about where I’m at and where I’m heading.

So yes, friends, I am officially a working girl now (and in Makati, no less!) At least for the meantime.

Here’s to hoping I get my Ally McBeal on.

Cue theme song! I've been searching my soul tonight, I know there's so much more to life. Now I know I can shine a light, to find my way back home… oooh yeaaah…


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Labels: summer

Last week, my mom, grandparents and I went MIA for a spontaneous week-long trip to Singapore. We've been planning to fly there for the longest time now, but I just couldn't find the time to squeeze it in given law school, my summer internship, and the then-undecided finality of the school calendar shift. A few weeks ago though, the cosmos aligned somehow and I managed to find a week-long respite - so of course, off we went! Also, my last Singapore trip was five years ago (can you believe 2009 was FIVE years ago?!), so I was "due" for a visit to my aunt, whom I terribly miss.




Singapore has always been second-home to us. My mom's sister has worked as an architect in Singapore for most of the 90's and the latter part of the 00's (she was the over-all project manager of Universal Studios), so the Land of the Merlion has been our default go-to place for a vacation. Singapore is special because it's the first country I visited abroad (I was 2 years old when I first rode an airplane!), and it was the only other country I've been to for most of my childhood. Which is not to say I ever get tired of the place.




It's refreshing visiting the place because there's always something new and exciting to look forward to every time I visit. Most people don't think that Singapore is a nice "summer getaway" destination because it's all city: completely urban, and no traces of nature. But that's what I really love about it too. I like being in the city - especially in a city as clean and as fascinating as Singapore. The transportation is efficient, the skyline is pristine, the famous spots are impressive (both in the technical and artistic fronts), and the people are great (because almost every other person there is Pinoy! Haha). Their culture fascinates me the most though, because Singapore is a melting pot of different races, with Chinese, South, and Southeast Asians residing the place.

In short, Singapore will always be special to me. And it was so great to be back there again, especially right now when I so badly needed a time to relax, unwind, and put things in perspective.




Can't wait to return next year in June, hopefully!


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P.S. Forgive the #OOTD pictures. Minsan lang naman, haha.

Labels: summer

Labels: summer

Two summers ago, for my requisite medical check-up before admission to law school, an x-ray result revealed something wrong with my lungs. There was a small lesion somewhere in my right lung, which suggested that I might have developed some form of primary complex. The man at the x-ray booth told me I could not proceed with enrollment unless I get a medical clearance from my doctor. That morning, I was still reeling from a break-up the night before, and to have found out about the x-ray result at the UP Infirmary, no less, (the last place you would want to be in when you're told you might have a disease) - it wasn't at all comforting. The next day, I immediately went for a consultation at Makati Med, where a pulmonolgist, in fact, confirmed the results of my x-ray.

I was put under heavy medication for six months - four tablets before breakfast, one for lunch, and one before bed, all of which caused me nausea and severe headaches. This was really terrible for me, because aside from still having to adjust with the rigors of law school, it was also the first time I was living alone in my own unit, without a roommate. I had to force myself to continue drinking the medicine, despite all the side-effects. I also had to make an extra effort to remember drinking them, (because I'm a senior-citizen trapped in a twenty-year-old's body). And I had to be wary of the company I was with, because now I had to take extra care of my lungs (and my heart - but that's another story altogether, haha).

This probably should've been the time to throw the "Why me?!" fit. I could've pointed my finger to people who might have infected me, I could've gotten angry with the universe, or God, or even myself - I could've gotten depressed over getting sick.

Funny though, I never considered myself a person with a "disease" during that time - in fact it was never something I brought up or openly talked about with friends. Partly because I didn't want them to feel scared or worried that I might get them infected (only if I'm not careful), but also mostly because I never liked identifying myself as a "victim" - of sickness, of sadness, of anything. But then again, I'm also not privy to the label "warrior." It felt too... trite. And besides, I would hardly call the degree of my sickness something that would bring forth a "warrior." Cancer patients are warriors, actual tuberculosis patients are warriors. But me? I was probably just a little pawn lost in a big battlefield.

However, the truth was, in all those times I sat waiting outside my doctor's door, during the months I was under observation, I've thought a lot about the things I wanted and the things I couldn't imagine losing - not because I felt like I was going to die already, but because the reality was, "being sick" meant giving up certain pleasures, big or otherwise. It meant no sharing of straws, no close contact, no shaking hands after having my hands near my mouth. I mean, if I were in a relationship that time, that would mean no kissing (!). Little things, you know? It was nothing compared to what other people in worse conditions had to give up, and of course I was thankful that mine was detected early and that it was curable. (And actually pretty normal and common, according to my doctor. Almost ALL Filipinos have it, only undiagnosed.)

But when your face is in front of your toilet bowl, with your mind begging your body to cooperate and throw everything up just so that you can get rid of the nasty feeling - it's hard not to "feel sick." It's hard not to identify with the "I'm sick" label. When you realize it's only 6:00 am and already you're dreading the nausea that will still accompany you for the rest of the day - how do you not feel like you're missing out on certain things? It's difficult, and no degree or level of sickness will take away the difficult feeling. "Stage 0," "inactive," "common" -- whatever, those are just words. You still feel sick. You still are sick. And it means having to give up things, and it means being alone in giving up those things.

Six months later, thankfully, I was cleared, and my results revealed a healthy set of lungs. Which meant things were okay, and at least for the time being, it meant goodbye to the medicines and the crazy side-effects as well. And it also meant I can share straws on graham-banana-shake dates again! (#concerns #priorities HAHA)

And now here I am, two years after that first x-ray, back for my requisite check-up. Am I scared? Not really. Am I worried? Not anymore. But I don't think I'm in the right position to say "I survived!" or "I recovered!" simply because it wasn't a huge war. If anything, the biggest war I had to wage that time was law school and heartache. Whatever confidence or integrity I walked away with from that year probably wasn't because of my bout with the sickness.

But the little things? Oh the little things. It was during that time that I realized how important the little things are. Little things like having the luxury to wake up late, without worrying about medicines; or the comfort of holding hands with someone, without the incessant need for alcohol beforehand. The delight of having someone tell you everything's going to be okay. Things like that. Everyday since then, I've been thankful for the small things that have come my way. And I've been wary of the small things about myself too. It's like discovering how much of myself badly needed attention, even those parts I never actually notice. It's lovely how much your body can surprise you, if only you looked closely.

Because it's only when you're careful with yourself that other people realize how to be careful with you too.


*


My current x-ray results are clear! Woohoo!

I came across a bunch of old notepad files filled with one-liners and unfinished sentences in my hard drive a few weeks ago. I was in the middle of moving and deleting old files to make room for more disk space when I stumbled upon these fragmentary notes. I remembered these from a few months, and even years ago; I used to diligently type whatever random phrase I'd hear or think about during the day. Some of them already had a story in mind, some still have yet to be figured out. Some were cluttered, others already made sense. They were just there, tucked away in different folders, waiting to be found, or finished.

I tried to remember the stories behind some of them; I wanted to finish the stories that awaited some others. It's a marvel wading through words you've long abandoned - it's like seeing a familiar face but not knowing his name. They weren't just mere construction of words - they were sentences that came forth from a time of my life that's long past, that no longer exists. Here were a kid's words. Here were sentences that that version of me thought were good enough to begin stories.

Joan Didion once said something about first sentences. When you write your first sentence, you're stuck with it. And by the time you write your second one, she said, you've closed out on all your options.

Out of curiosity, I attempted to put them together. I wasn't looking for anything, I just wanted to see where they will drive at: on their own, together.

It was twenty-two minutes in and their pancakes have not arrived.

They all promised her the sky, she remembered. 

The thing about tuberculosis is you start caring about your lungs, but forget about your heart.

She came in expecting nothing, he expected to come in nothing.

If there was anything he now knew, it's that she didn't come with assembly instructions.


It's interesting where first sentences take you. I don't remember most of them; I don't even know where they came from, nor where they will go. I can't recall if I wrote them down after an interesting jeepney ride, or a tiresome day in school. They don't always have to make sense, but at the very least, you can be sure they will lead to something. That's what they are for anyway.

Funny how they were put together, once the universe decided it's done setting them apart.


_


Hello, May: for the first sentences you brought from a year ago, and all the ones that led to today.

Labels: finger exercises

It was a bright, beautiful weekend that met my high school friends and I when our much-awaited summer getaway finally, FINALLY pushed through. Almost everything about the trip was uncertain until the day before; the only thing we were sure of was that we blocked the entire weekend for a trip with our plus-ones, but initial plans kept falling through until the last minute. We couldn't let the opportunity pass, though -- we were available, we were going with our plus-ones, we already had transpo. It had to take eleventh-hour decisions for the entire trip to come to fruition. But as it always happens when it comes to our group, things always turn out great in the end.

And great doesn't even begin to describe it.





We stayed at a cottage in Padre Burgos, Quezon, from where we were to take boat trips to three different islands around the area: Borawan, Dampalitan, and Puting Buhangin. The place is relatively unknown to regular folk, but research (aka Google) will yield you several articles and blog posts about this "must-visit" place. I was actually the one who suggested the place when we first started talking about our summer plans a few months ago, since my family and I went to Quezon over the Holy Week. My friends had other plans and resorts in mind, initially, but when we realized most famous destinations were already full, we had to look for something else both cheap yet still remarkable.

It was a 5-hour trip from Paranaque to Padre Burgos. But you know how when you're with your best friends, five hours never feels like an eternity? It felt like being on the bus again for a high school field trip, only this time we have other people as partners :)) It was our first time to go out-of-town with the Boyband (aka, our plus-ones) so you can understand why everyone was extra excited about the trip. It's nice that we can act normal and behave like 15-year-old convent girls again even in front of the boys.

Ludwin and I stayed awake for the entire ride because we had to navigate and help out our driver. (Thanks, Google Maps!) Padre Burgos is on the edge of Quezon, so it's a bit difficult and tricky to get there. You can understand why not a lot of people visit the place because it's a bit far, and the bypass roads going there are still under construction. We passed by Sariaya, Lucena, and Pagbilao before reaching the town of Padre Burgos.




The great thing about the accommodation Trixie was able to arrange for us is that it included everything we needed for the weekend: (1) a cottage that had four rooms (great for all 14 of us, including our driver) which was by the sea, but not by the beach, (2) the boat rental to go to the three islands around the area, i.e. the relatively-more-known Borawan, Puting Buhangin, and Dampalitan, and (3) three meals: Saturday lunch and dinner plus Sunday breakfast. It was definitely sulit. (Shout-out to our contact, Ate Irma.)

When we arrived we had a feast of liempo and sinigang na isda (I forget which fish though). Originally, the plan was to spend the entire afternoon at the farthest island then spend the next morning at the nearer islands. However, because we arrived way past lunch, we just decided to spend the entire afternoon in the "middle" island and wake up early the next day for the other beaches.




The boat ride to Borawan Island took us around 15-20 minutes. We passed by several smaller islands before reaching the place. The beach was named such because of its white sand and pristine blue seas, similar to both Boracay and Palawan. (YES, true story, haven't you figured it out yet?) Lots of tents and huts were pitched along the shore because it wasn't a big island - it can't accommodate buildings and hotels. Some people opt to stay overnight and rent tents (which we were originally supposed to do) but when we saw the gray clouds hovering above us soon after we left Padre Burgos for Borawan, we realized it was a good thing we decided to look for a house instead.




One thing I always hear and read about Borawan is that its waters are filled with jellyfish. You really can't go beyond the net they've pitched around a certain area, unless you want to do an Anne Curtis. As such, we spent more time taking pictures instead of actually swimming. :))

Another nice surprise about this trip is that we had Anizza come with us! Anizza is a friend from grade school and high school who left for the States after our first year. It's been nine years since we last saw her, but I swear it felt like nothing has changed! She just graduated college and is about to enter med school when she goes back to Florida, so it will be a long, looong while before we will see her again. It was definitely great timing that she was able to join us, even on short notice.




You may have already noticed that almost all of us were paired up by "love team" :)) TABING ILOG / TGIS style! Grabe, pang-90's Saturday afternoon teenage show! Summer out-of-town episode!

As I've mentioned before, this is definitely a new "era" for our barkada. We've never had this many plus-ones all at the same time! As my mom would joke, "Mga dalaga na din kayo!" Haha! Which explains why we're always so thrilled to be planning stuff that include the Boyband.

It's funny because we were such good girls back in high school - most of us were honor students, student officers, and varsity athletes. We didn't really go outside our comfort zones to explore "grown-up" stuff like drinking and smoking. And even in college, we rarely did as well. I can count the number of times we went out to drink in college. We don't even go to malls to hang out, unless we're eating at a restaurant. WE ARE SO LAME :))

But that's the thing. We're content with just hanging out and making daldal at each other's houses. We have sleepovers and movie marathons. We get along so well with each other that we can entertain ourselves for hours (and hours and hours) on end by just talking and laughing at each other. It's been decades of being just us, so to have these new guys join the "fray" and actually gel really well with us -- that's quite a feat! Imagine, they can last hours with us without alcohol! That's pretty impressive! Haha!







So, back to Borawan.

Since we couldn't let Anizza be the default photographer, since she's the balikbayan and had to be in most of the pictures, Hope was "bullied" into the role. She can't blame us, she brought with her an SLR! And she was the one who liked taking selfies.

You can measure how much we've missed each other by the amount of hirits we can make about Hope. :)) That's how much we love our girl. Look at her on top of a big-ass rock just to take a complete picture of all of us!





After a few hours (!) of walking around taking pictures, at around sunset, we decided to go back to our cottage. The rain started pouring on our boat ride back to Padre Burgos. It was a good call to go back early as we didn't want to be stuck out there on sea with the waves getting all high and dangerous.

Our trip was really koboy, in almost every sense of the word. For instance, in Padre Burgos there is currently an interruption on their water supply. They've not had a decent supply of water on their lines for two months now. So.. not a single drip in our comfort room. We had to make do with the very, very weak water stream from the faucet we found outside our house. Buhos and ipon ng tubig sa batya! It was fun, though. Na-skandalo ata yung mga pabo and manok na nakatambay sa labas ng bahay sa dami naming naligo. :))





Dinner was a generous serving of adobong manok and inihaw na tilapia. We had fun talking about each other's love stories - which is really cheesy and corny if you think about it. But in our defense, Anizza asked. After all it's the first time she's seeing all these couples, so she had every right to inquire :)) Then again, we realized we don't really know the exact stories behind each pair; it was fun having great laughs over everyone's silly beginnings.

Much to our surprise we all had "similar" first phases. It's cute hearing the boys tell the stories! Grabe, it really felt like an episode straight out of a baduy youth-oriented program! Medyo nababaduyan talaga ako while typing this. HAHAHA. But all in good fun and the spirit of camaraderie, I suppose. Game naman lahat eh. Maybe that's part of growing up too -- accepting that life is short, love is beautiful, why hide it? Baka nga #LoveAbangs talaga. (Ramon Bautista, preeeach!)


ANYWAY.

After the cheese-fest that was revisiting our histories, we negated the mushiness by playing a serious, and very manly tournament of: CARD GAMES. Lol! This was the continuation of our Bet On Your "Baby" play-offs we had last Christmas. (Ludwin and I are still the defending champs! Oh yeah! ...Ludwin and I are also the only ones who still care. Mehehe.) Pusoy, Pusoy Dos, and Bullshit (aka Bluff) became so intense because we did it by team, with the boys playing and the girls... cracking jokes and making unrelated side comments. We kept saying how worried we were that the boys might find us super lame and un-cool because we didn't have any other "fun" activities :)) But if there's anything we're good at, it's our talent of building up on each other's jokes. Sobrang witty lang eh. If we can't impress them with booze, we can at least make sure they know we're smart. It takes brilliance to be funny! :))

The group all went to bed before midnight because we wanted to start island-hopping early the next morning. We wanted to stay longer at the other islands, and since we were informed that the trip would take us about forty to an hour each, we had to make good use of our time.



There are very few words that can suffice to depict the beauty that welcomed us as we reached the shores of Puting Buhangin. It took us about forty-five minutes to reach the island from our cottage, but it was so, so worth it. The sand was pristine white and the sea, a clear, gleaming blue. The beach looked like a stripped-down, younger cousin of Boracay. It wasn't too crowded when we arrived; we managed to find a hut big enough to accommodate us for our meal. Brunch consisted of daing, corned beef, and egg. It's the best breakfast I've had in a long while - and yes, it had everything to do with the place I was at and the people I was with.





Puting Buhangin is a little off the coast of Pagbilao. On our boat ride we passed by Pagbilao power plant, (a place my dad has gone to countless times, thanks to his job) and several other mini-islands along the way. Another scenic spot on the island of Puting Buhangin is a partly-hidden cave, the Kwebang Lampas. It's a cave that goes through the other side of the island, from where you'll see the rest of the calming, exquisite view of Tayabas Bay.

Exquisite is an understatement to describe that view, I'm telling you.

I'll go as far as saying that's Puting Buhangin is so much more scenic than Boracay. (And of course, Borawan, which is a bit more overrated compared to the other islands surrounding it.)  Because the crowd is so small and the island is without establishments, the place offers a more remarkable experience. It's peaceful and quiet; stripped bare of telcomm signals, celebrities, and party sounds.  It's a view that literally makes you pause and say, "Wow." It's beautiful in its simplicity.

In true Karla fashion, I savored every Little Mermaid moment I had on the beach. Little-known fact: I find serenity in swimming. It's the only sport I *know* and it's also the only sport I really find great comfort in. Being in the water is refreshing for me in so many ways; it's like hitting a recharge button and letting the waves carry away unnecessary baggage. I love being out there at sea, but I love being on a pool just the same. As long as I'm in the water, I should be fine. Which is why I don't mind the heat of the sun as long as the sea is as clear and as spectacular as this.





Being there, so far away from home, it made me appreciate many things, small things and big things, most of which go unnoticed. Sure, there are things to feel worried about. But I have friends, family, people who love me; I have the luxury of being surrounded by the warmth and support of people who know my worth. What is there to complain about? :)

I find great solace in the fact that our group has managed to nurture our friendship after many, many years. As I've said before, we've been through so much: individually and as a group. But there's still so much growing up to do. At 22, what do we know, right? Life has changed in many ways for all of us, but I'm sure it's only the beginning of a lot more. I guess I'm waxing poetic about all this because as my third year in law school approaches, I realize how much work I still have to do as regards my my career. I'm still adjusting to a lot of things, despite being settled and comfortable in other parts of my life. Sometimes, I wish I could just go back to my checkered-black-and-white-skirt-wearing and Paulinian-Hymn-singing past. But then again, I wouldn't trade this level of friendship right now for anything. We've become this close because of the kind of people we've become after high school. We've grown up together.

But being with them also affirms the fact that there are certain parts of myself I shouldn't let go. There are parts of me that are okay, that are loved, that ought to not change ever - wherever life leads me. These are people who have stuck with me since we were doe-eyed graders learning to write cursive for the first time. We all learned Algebra and dissected frogs together. And now we're being good girlfriends together! We've loved so many versions of each other - I'm sure there's always room to love all the future versions as well.




Even this version of me that's such a cheesy girlfriend. :)) It was great having Ludwin with me for this trip. Travel has always been on top of our list of to-do's, and to have had this chance was definitely one for the books. It's always nice experiencing new things with him, because he's always game for anything but he never forgets his responsibilities. He embraces spontaneity, but he makes sure he's still also a step ahead. And he's so, so funny! I've never known a guy who cracks me up the same way he does. We're super weird together -- like, sniffing-each-other's-kilikili-when-there's-a-chance weird -- but we found out that we're weirder when we're out of Manila, apparently. Arguing-about-whose-mouthwash-is-better, deciding-who-puts-on-sunblock-better weird! And at the end of the day, isn't that what we all want? Someone to argue about mouthwash with? :))




Our group didn't want to leave Puting Buhangin (ever), but after a few hours, we had to take the boat ride to the other side of Padre Burgos, for Dampalitan Island. The trip back took about forty-five minutes, I believe. I forgot how long exactly though, because I think we all fell asleep!





But that didn't mean we had no energy left for pictures. Dampalitan was pretty much the same as Borawan: it had jellyfish in its waters too, which meant only a certain portion was safe for swimming. But the beach itself was beautiful too, and it was almost empty. We were probably the only large group there. We didn't swim anymore however, since it was already almost two o'clock in the afternoon, and we wanted to get back to Manila early. We took the obligatory couple selfies, complete group pics (thanks to our driver, Kuya Arnold), and kunwari-nageemote-sa-dalampasigan poses before finally heading back to Padre Burgos.






"Last-minute plans are always the best," --  that should probably be our barkada's motto by now. We came home wanting to plan ahead already because we had so. much. fun. But knowing us, even if we plan three years ahead, we'd still end up finalizing everything just the night before :))

I really hope we get to do this again real soon. And complete this time! (Hi Tin, Nica, and Inna.) I don't know how that's going to work out next year, since my "summer" will be on June and July. But we'll figure it out. We always do.

If there's anything this friendship (and this trip) has taught me, it's probably trust - in the universe, in your friends, in your friends' ability to Google last-ditch resorts available. And to trust that while there are things we can never be sure of, there are also things that will always stay the same.

Like friends, and great adventures, and the idea of Hope being our favorite comic. :))

__

(Photo credits: Hope Velasco and Mikka Valenzuela)

Labels: friends, summer

Someone asked me on my question box how I'm spending my vacation, given the 4-month break thanks to the UP calendar shift. Our classes start in August this coming school year, so I still have until July to enjoy freedom and embrace it with open arms.

So far, I've spent most the last two months doing what any normal law student (I assume!) would do: bum around and savor this justified (and probably even much-deserved) laziness. I can be completely not productive and NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Or be productive with other stuff I actually enjoy, like read books for leisure or learning songs on the piano. Basta, guilt-free and totally acceptable. I've been sleeping and waking up to the feeling of stress and panic every day during the school year, so to have the luxury of doing absolutely nothing is just all kinds of glorious and wonderful.

But of course, to spend the entire four months on Bum Mode isn't exactly a great idea either - well, at least for me. I didn’t want to be too idle because then I might never want to go back to school again. Haha! So I decided to apply for an internship at a law firm, in hopes of making me feel like I'm still a law student despite the break. Or actually, it's more of, convincing myself that I am a competent enough law student to be thrown into the real setting.

And now here I am, working behind a desk, trying to draft pleadings, revising appeals, putting together formal offer of exhibits – actual legal work. The most frustrating thing for me about law school is that our professors only see us as case-readers, codal-absorbers, and exam-takers. Of course that is what legal education is about, and that is how we are supposed to be taught the foundations of the law. But that’s not all that the profession is about. Your performance in school may or may not necessarily be reflective of your worth as a student of a law. It shouldn't.

Sometimes, we forget that.

So here I am.

To work in a firm and to know that one is being trusted with actual legal work – the real deal – that’s definitely affirming. And while I’ve come to accept the fact that the “business” of a law school (i.e. the business of being mean, unkind, and not at all encouraging) is something I cannot escape, there’s hope that I still may be able to survive it after all. If I can hold my own in a law firm, drafting up pleadings and trying to come up with defenses for a hearing, then I’m sure as hell I can do just as well in school. I have to, and I will.

I’m glad and fortunate to be given substantial work in my office. Drafting pleadings makes me hit two birds with one stone: doing a lot of writing (which I miss), and learning much about the law as applied in practice. It truly is a great experience, and so far, I’m glad to have taken this opportunity to make myself feel better about where I’m at and where I’m heading.

So yes, friends, I am officially a working girl now (and in Makati, no less!) At least for the meantime.

Here’s to hoping I get my Ally McBeal on.

Cue theme song! I've been searching my soul tonight, I know there's so much more to life. Now I know I can shine a light, to find my way back home… oooh yeaaah…


__

Labels: summer

Last week, my mom, grandparents and I went MIA for a spontaneous week-long trip to Singapore. We've been planning to fly there for the longest time now, but I just couldn't find the time to squeeze it in given law school, my summer internship, and the then-undecided finality of the school calendar shift. A few weeks ago though, the cosmos aligned somehow and I managed to find a week-long respite - so of course, off we went! Also, my last Singapore trip was five years ago (can you believe 2009 was FIVE years ago?!), so I was "due" for a visit to my aunt, whom I terribly miss.




Singapore has always been second-home to us. My mom's sister has worked as an architect in Singapore for most of the 90's and the latter part of the 00's (she was the over-all project manager of Universal Studios), so the Land of the Merlion has been our default go-to place for a vacation. Singapore is special because it's the first country I visited abroad (I was 2 years old when I first rode an airplane!), and it was the only other country I've been to for most of my childhood. Which is not to say I ever get tired of the place.




It's refreshing visiting the place because there's always something new and exciting to look forward to every time I visit. Most people don't think that Singapore is a nice "summer getaway" destination because it's all city: completely urban, and no traces of nature. But that's what I really love about it too. I like being in the city - especially in a city as clean and as fascinating as Singapore. The transportation is efficient, the skyline is pristine, the famous spots are impressive (both in the technical and artistic fronts), and the people are great (because almost every other person there is Pinoy! Haha). Their culture fascinates me the most though, because Singapore is a melting pot of different races, with Chinese, South, and Southeast Asians residing the place.

In short, Singapore will always be special to me. And it was so great to be back there again, especially right now when I so badly needed a time to relax, unwind, and put things in perspective.




Can't wait to return next year in June, hopefully!


__

P.S. Forgive the #OOTD pictures. Minsan lang naman, haha.

Labels: summer

Labels: summer

Two summers ago, for my requisite medical check-up before admission to law school, an x-ray result revealed something wrong with my lungs. There was a small lesion somewhere in my right lung, which suggested that I might have developed some form of primary complex. The man at the x-ray booth told me I could not proceed with enrollment unless I get a medical clearance from my doctor. That morning, I was still reeling from a break-up the night before, and to have found out about the x-ray result at the UP Infirmary, no less, (the last place you would want to be in when you're told you might have a disease) - it wasn't at all comforting. The next day, I immediately went for a consultation at Makati Med, where a pulmonolgist, in fact, confirmed the results of my x-ray.

I was put under heavy medication for six months - four tablets before breakfast, one for lunch, and one before bed, all of which caused me nausea and severe headaches. This was really terrible for me, because aside from still having to adjust with the rigors of law school, it was also the first time I was living alone in my own unit, without a roommate. I had to force myself to continue drinking the medicine, despite all the side-effects. I also had to make an extra effort to remember drinking them, (because I'm a senior-citizen trapped in a twenty-year-old's body). And I had to be wary of the company I was with, because now I had to take extra care of my lungs (and my heart - but that's another story altogether, haha).

This probably should've been the time to throw the "Why me?!" fit. I could've pointed my finger to people who might have infected me, I could've gotten angry with the universe, or God, or even myself - I could've gotten depressed over getting sick.

Funny though, I never considered myself a person with a "disease" during that time - in fact it was never something I brought up or openly talked about with friends. Partly because I didn't want them to feel scared or worried that I might get them infected (only if I'm not careful), but also mostly because I never liked identifying myself as a "victim" - of sickness, of sadness, of anything. But then again, I'm also not privy to the label "warrior." It felt too... trite. And besides, I would hardly call the degree of my sickness something that would bring forth a "warrior." Cancer patients are warriors, actual tuberculosis patients are warriors. But me? I was probably just a little pawn lost in a big battlefield.

However, the truth was, in all those times I sat waiting outside my doctor's door, during the months I was under observation, I've thought a lot about the things I wanted and the things I couldn't imagine losing - not because I felt like I was going to die already, but because the reality was, "being sick" meant giving up certain pleasures, big or otherwise. It meant no sharing of straws, no close contact, no shaking hands after having my hands near my mouth. I mean, if I were in a relationship that time, that would mean no kissing (!). Little things, you know? It was nothing compared to what other people in worse conditions had to give up, and of course I was thankful that mine was detected early and that it was curable. (And actually pretty normal and common, according to my doctor. Almost ALL Filipinos have it, only undiagnosed.)

But when your face is in front of your toilet bowl, with your mind begging your body to cooperate and throw everything up just so that you can get rid of the nasty feeling - it's hard not to "feel sick." It's hard not to identify with the "I'm sick" label. When you realize it's only 6:00 am and already you're dreading the nausea that will still accompany you for the rest of the day - how do you not feel like you're missing out on certain things? It's difficult, and no degree or level of sickness will take away the difficult feeling. "Stage 0," "inactive," "common" -- whatever, those are just words. You still feel sick. You still are sick. And it means having to give up things, and it means being alone in giving up those things.

Six months later, thankfully, I was cleared, and my results revealed a healthy set of lungs. Which meant things were okay, and at least for the time being, it meant goodbye to the medicines and the crazy side-effects as well. And it also meant I can share straws on graham-banana-shake dates again! (#concerns #priorities HAHA)

And now here I am, two years after that first x-ray, back for my requisite check-up. Am I scared? Not really. Am I worried? Not anymore. But I don't think I'm in the right position to say "I survived!" or "I recovered!" simply because it wasn't a huge war. If anything, the biggest war I had to wage that time was law school and heartache. Whatever confidence or integrity I walked away with from that year probably wasn't because of my bout with the sickness.

But the little things? Oh the little things. It was during that time that I realized how important the little things are. Little things like having the luxury to wake up late, without worrying about medicines; or the comfort of holding hands with someone, without the incessant need for alcohol beforehand. The delight of having someone tell you everything's going to be okay. Things like that. Everyday since then, I've been thankful for the small things that have come my way. And I've been wary of the small things about myself too. It's like discovering how much of myself badly needed attention, even those parts I never actually notice. It's lovely how much your body can surprise you, if only you looked closely.

Because it's only when you're careful with yourself that other people realize how to be careful with you too.


*


My current x-ray results are clear! Woohoo!

I came across a bunch of old notepad files filled with one-liners and unfinished sentences in my hard drive a few weeks ago. I was in the middle of moving and deleting old files to make room for more disk space when I stumbled upon these fragmentary notes. I remembered these from a few months, and even years ago; I used to diligently type whatever random phrase I'd hear or think about during the day. Some of them already had a story in mind, some still have yet to be figured out. Some were cluttered, others already made sense. They were just there, tucked away in different folders, waiting to be found, or finished.

I tried to remember the stories behind some of them; I wanted to finish the stories that awaited some others. It's a marvel wading through words you've long abandoned - it's like seeing a familiar face but not knowing his name. They weren't just mere construction of words - they were sentences that came forth from a time of my life that's long past, that no longer exists. Here were a kid's words. Here were sentences that that version of me thought were good enough to begin stories.

Joan Didion once said something about first sentences. When you write your first sentence, you're stuck with it. And by the time you write your second one, she said, you've closed out on all your options.

Out of curiosity, I attempted to put them together. I wasn't looking for anything, I just wanted to see where they will drive at: on their own, together.

It was twenty-two minutes in and their pancakes have not arrived.

They all promised her the sky, she remembered. 

The thing about tuberculosis is you start caring about your lungs, but forget about your heart.

She came in expecting nothing, he expected to come in nothing.

If there was anything he now knew, it's that she didn't come with assembly instructions.


It's interesting where first sentences take you. I don't remember most of them; I don't even know where they came from, nor where they will go. I can't recall if I wrote them down after an interesting jeepney ride, or a tiresome day in school. They don't always have to make sense, but at the very least, you can be sure they will lead to something. That's what they are for anyway.

Funny how they were put together, once the universe decided it's done setting them apart.


_


Hello, May: for the first sentences you brought from a year ago, and all the ones that led to today.

Labels: finger exercises

Hello, I'm Karla Bernardo. If you Google my name, you will find the Wikipedia entry of a Canadian serial-killer (and trust me, you do not want to read about that - but I'm sure you will because now you're curious), which is why I suggest you type Bombastarr instead so you can stalk me better.

I spent eight-and-a-half years of my life in the University of the Philippines, where I graduated with degrees in Creative Writing and Juris Doctor. It is also where I learned how to speak a bit of Italian, got a taste of the best tapsilog, and took striptease for PE.

I love telling stories, as much as I enjoy finding them.

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Featured Works

Stargirl (Cover story for Nadine Lustre, Scout, January-February 2017)
Surreal / So Real (at Scout)
Ode to a Great Love's 17-year-old Self (Love.Life, Philippine Daily Inquirer)
Postcard from Diliman (Youngblood, Philippine Daily Inquirer)

Writer for Philippine Law Register
A Call to Arms (January 2017)
Expecting the Expected (March 2016)

Former Writer for Stache Magazine
The Hero's Journey (June 2013)
The 8 People You Become In Your Youth (June 2013)
The Best Bad Idea That Is Argo (April 2013)
Mike Ross Remembers Everything You Don't (August 2012)
Style Between the Riffs (August 2012)
Book Lovers Never Sleep Alone (June 2012)
A Spectrum of Change (December 2011)
Digital Art (October 2011)
Elements of Style (June 2011)
In Her White Dress (All-Art April 2011 issue)

Morning After Pill (Fervore: Literary Folio 2013, UP Portia Sorority)
How To Make a Blueberry Cheesecake (Kalas: Kalasag Literary Folio 2011, UP College of Arts and Letters)
January 14th (100: The Hundreds Project, UP Writer's Club)

An Ode to The Pillow Book (at New-Slang)
Introductions (at TeenInk)
One by One (at TeenInk)

   

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Got a comment, question, violent reaction, love letter, or random piece of information you want to share with me? Just fire away. I don't bite.

(I changed my form and went back to Freedback because Ask.fm's being a bitch, requiring people to sign up for accounts before asking questions. Because I love you guys, I tweaked my ask box a bit, so that the questions will now go directly to my e-mail, but I'll be posting the answers still on my Ask.fm for convenience. TL;DR - I'll still be getting your questions so no worries. You're still free to harass me / send me your love.)

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Are you a pornstar?
No, I am not a pornstar, stripper, or your friendly neighborhood call girl. It's just a fancy pseudonym with a long history, and two R's. Rawr.

Bombastarr is my personal blog and my little corner in the Internet since 2005. Yes, I started writing here when I was 13 years old (aka when I was very angsty, hormonal, and always gushing at the littlest things) -- ergo, you'd have to forgive me if you come across an old post that reeks of immaturity and slightly unpolished grammar. I did a lot of growing up here, and from the looks of it, there's still a lot of growing up to do, so I don't think I'll be leaving this place any time soon.

The domain, Bombastarr.com, was purchased on June 2014 and launched on July 2014, on the blog's ninth year (and fifth month, to be exact).

It's crazy to think that this blog is now thirteen years old, because (1) that seems like an eternity in internet years, and (2) that means if my blog were a kid, it's a teenager! That's insane.

Here's to more tales, explosive and otherwise.

If you've been living under a rock and think I'm a threat to world peace or an object of covetousness, sorry to disappoint you, folks: it's just a fancy pseudonym.

As in most things, it started in high school. It began as a joke between me and a couple of friends during our freshman year. We were practicing for a field demonstration dance which involved the use of shawls, and being the crazy-always-trying-to-be-funny person that I was (or I always attempted to be) I started doing poses with the garment. Someone started taking my picture using my phone, and one shot looked like I was posing for those B-list movies (or should it be R-list, as in R-rated?) of the vegetable-nomenclature variety. #IKYWIM. Hence, the word, "Bombastarr." Yes, very cheeky, I know, but for a 13-year-old, it was quirky enough to figure as a username. That was 2005, right around the time I trying to decide on a URL for a new blog. It's been a lot of years since, and what started as a joke became something I've eventually embraced as an identity.

Despite the many other chances I've gotten to permanently move (to Multiply, Livejournal, Tumblr, Wordpress; to a bigger platform where I can earn or use the blog as a venue for commerce), I've come to realize that Bombastarr is something I can never truly leave behind. It is a place I've grown to appreciate and love because it is a place I can call my own. It's a venue for my rants, my views, my writing. It is home, and it is who I am.

Bombastarr is a glimpse of my life: the thoughts, ideas, and stories that shape it into what it is, and what it will still become. This journal has been with me for all my crazy, often embarrassing adventures, but I'm sure there will be more anecdotes and feelings and people to write about. Which is something I'm really looking forward to. After all, you know what they say about the greatest stories - sometimes, there's still a lot that's left unwritten.

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