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Hello, September.


While August was such a mentally-exhausting and physically-frustrating month, September 1st came in with chilly winds and a drizzle of rain, a kind of comforting, mellow arrival, edging through my calendar calmly rather than conspicuously. Which is what I need right now, actually.

I'm so tired. Thesis, of course, is the primary reason. But more than that, just the pressure of being in my fourth year, the thought of being so near the finish line, the nearness of another exam waiting to decide my fate - all of that are completely driving me to the limits. I'm usually very optimistic, but of course I can't help feeling scared and overwhelmed too. Things have gone so well for me; what if the good karma suddenly just stops? Because life is unfair, right?

But for the last few weeks, I've been having a peaceful, truly relaxing weekends with my family, the best conversations with my roommates, the funniest and wittiest moments with my closest friends, and the most uplifting and comforting time with the Boyfriend. I mean, really. With all the inward, internal self-retrospection that is required of writing, having to talk to (really intellectual) people and getting the chance to place myself outside myself is just a complete and total relief. To project the words out of my mouth instead of my mind is just what I need to keep me grounded. It's always a great feeling knowing that I am surrounded with people who care for me enough to be their ear, and love me enough to hear about what I have to say. Having these people around me makes me feel like there is nothing to be scared of. At least, not for now.

It's a long grueling battle, this sem. But I'm counting my blessings. I'm thankful for whatever good vibes I can get. Thankful for the Oreo cheesecakes, the frozen yogurts, the sexy talks, the Robot Unicorns, the Ryan Gosling movies, the boy in a really, really cute polo - the silver linings that have been coming my way. They get me through; and I think right now that's what matters.

Let's do this, September.



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